Its been awhile since I blogged, frankly I sucked at eating properly for a few days last week, and didn't want to blog about it. My schedule changed a bit last week, which made it impossible for me to get to spin class and everything seemed to spiral down hill from there. I didn't have the right groceries in the house, I worked a few 10 hour days, kids had activities in the evenings and I just grabbed for anything and didn't care. And to be honest when I only lost 1.9 pounds when I really tried I thought whoopie that's really nothing anyways. But really who am I hurting? Only myself, its not like anyone else cares if I put the weight back on, they will just say. I knew she couldn't do it. Jena text'd me and set up a group workout Saturday morning, now by this time I hadn't exercised since Monday night, so I knew I would be dying. So I showed up and it was so good to visit with the girls before hand, knowing that everyone struggles and got some good ideas, I totally recommend a some kind of group support whether it be weight watchers or just talking to your friends. Saturday we had 2 parties to attend, I was a little nervous and Ive never been good at eating before I go and saying no to what is around me, I seriously should not be allowed in public at this stage. I tried to behave but probably had more that I should have, but just thought, Sunday is a new day, you can go get groceries, start fresh and be good to go. We met up with Jena and her husband on Sunday, we got to talking about the BL competition and WW and then she asked "CAN I SEE YOUR JOURNAL" Wha? Um...sure. Yikes, but I'm glad she did and I so need the accountability, and after further discussion I found out that its possible we each win $500 of we take this thing. Now wouldn't that just be awesome. So definitely time to step it up.
Erich has left for the academy, I bought some material over the weekend to make a quilt, I plan on painting our bedroom and the kids have tons of dancing and basketball to keep me occupied in the evenings. Evenings are my worst time of day to over eat, and with Erich being gone I don't go to bed very early cause by nature I am a total night owl and love the peaceful time after the kids go to bed. So I thought it would be wise to keep myself occupied with some constructive projects, rather than eating bon bons and watching Hoarders every night, which honestly sounds heavenly haha.
I wont be able to weigh at WW tomorrow night, Jake has a game in Sweet Home right at 5:30, so I'm going to weigh in Saturday morning, hoping to make it to at least my 10 pound goal, so I can get a cute outfit, I'm tired of looking scroungy at the gym, not that I have to look all cute, but it feels good to take a little pride in ones self and at least wear sweats that have no paint on them :) Erich took hi laptop with him and until I get a new battery for mine I don't know how often I will blog, right now I'm doing it from work, and as long as I don't get in trouble, I will try to do it from here. So this afternoon is spin class and toning and I am actually excited to get back to it. I'm gonna say its ok to have some rough days, don't beat yourself up and get right back on!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Disappointment :(
By the title I'm sure you can see that I failed to reach my 3 pounds. I lost 1.6. Yeah so its a loss and I should be proud, and when I add the 8 from last week and today's weight loss 9.6 pounds in 2 weeks is pretty good. But I just cant help but to be disappointed. I worked my BUTT off literally! I didn't miss one day of working out, and kept my food journal up to the points. The trainer at the gym told me that when you begin to work out your muscles will retain water...yeah I believe her but still! It doesn't make me wanna quit, but it does leave a little sour taste in my mouth.
I went to dinner with my dad tonight and had the BBQ Chicken salad, dressing on the side and took off the french fried onions. It was a good choice and I am proud of that, however I did eat a slice of pizza when I got home :( It was all within my points just not the healthiest, I guess I loathe in self sabotage, and that my friends is the biggest hurdle I need to jump, its ridiculous...Its like I need to go to Borders and have a new tape installed in my brain, a self motivating, positive, you can do it cassette. Its all good, tomorrow is back to spin class and tracking my points.
On a other note, I had asked on Facebook to pray for my co-worker Lottie as she was going thru some medical testing, let me just fill you in on who Lottie is. She is my moms age and came to work with us a few years ago. Our desk were right by each other and we talked ALL DAY....(then I got moved in with the big guns) I love her, she is like my other mom, she was there for me during one of the toughest times in my life and she cried with me, prayed with me, and loved me. She is having some issues with her leg and after a few doctors they came to a conclusion that she might have ALS (Lou Gerigs Disease) it made my heart so sad. She went today to get results of blood work and electric shock treatments of some kind and they decided that it is not what they thought, and they are referring her to a surgeon to have back surgery. She sent me a text right before weight watchers tonight to let me know, that things look like they will be ok. YAY! I was so happy to hear the news, no one wants to see a loved one go through anything terrible. So thank you to those who prayed..God is good all the time and all the time God is good :)
So this blog is bittersweet, boo to the little weight loss...yay to tomorrow being a new day and some great news. Oh and boo to me not getting a new workout outfit yet either, since I'm .4 lbs away from 10. Grrrr! Next week it is on!
I went to dinner with my dad tonight and had the BBQ Chicken salad, dressing on the side and took off the french fried onions. It was a good choice and I am proud of that, however I did eat a slice of pizza when I got home :( It was all within my points just not the healthiest, I guess I loathe in self sabotage, and that my friends is the biggest hurdle I need to jump, its ridiculous...Its like I need to go to Borders and have a new tape installed in my brain, a self motivating, positive, you can do it cassette. Its all good, tomorrow is back to spin class and tracking my points.
On a other note, I had asked on Facebook to pray for my co-worker Lottie as she was going thru some medical testing, let me just fill you in on who Lottie is. She is my moms age and came to work with us a few years ago. Our desk were right by each other and we talked ALL DAY....(then I got moved in with the big guns) I love her, she is like my other mom, she was there for me during one of the toughest times in my life and she cried with me, prayed with me, and loved me. She is having some issues with her leg and after a few doctors they came to a conclusion that she might have ALS (Lou Gerigs Disease) it made my heart so sad. She went today to get results of blood work and electric shock treatments of some kind and they decided that it is not what they thought, and they are referring her to a surgeon to have back surgery. She sent me a text right before weight watchers tonight to let me know, that things look like they will be ok. YAY! I was so happy to hear the news, no one wants to see a loved one go through anything terrible. So thank you to those who prayed..God is good all the time and all the time God is good :)
So this blog is bittersweet, boo to the little weight loss...yay to tomorrow being a new day and some great news. Oh and boo to me not getting a new workout outfit yet either, since I'm .4 lbs away from 10. Grrrr! Next week it is on!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Day 13
Tomorrow is big weigh in day! I'm a little nervous to be honest. I had a few meals that I didn't know how to count points and that always throws me for a loop! It makes my choices not always adventurous, cause I never know how to break things down when they don't have the nutrition listed on the package. I exercised every day of the week so I know that will help, however they say that when you first start to work out your muscles can retain water so don't feel bad if you don't lose alot. Well see this doesn't fly with me, I need results, I love to see the scale go down, such mind games and I'm aware of it but I still let it affect me. However I can tell in other things such as clothes that I am indeed losing something. The other day I put a tank top on that I wore on the cruise and it fit alot looser than it did then, so that was a good feeling. However I go boppin in the gym like I'm the cats ass and then quickly brought to reality when I look in the mirror haha. I kinda get that when I'm on the spin bike too, I think I'm going so fast but not really! Oh well at least I'm there right? and some day I will look in the mirror and maybe not recognize myself. That would be awesome! Yesterday I was sooooo sore from the weekend workout I thought I was gonna die, I took 4 Advil every 6 hours and took 2 hot baths. This morning it wasn't to bad and after going to spin class this afternoon it seemed to loosen everything up again, its a good kind of pain I guess, but still painful and makes me feel 80.
So tomorrow at 5 :15 I go weigh and hopefully please oh please lose 3 pounds! Then after I am meeting my dad for dinner. Have I ever mentioned that I really like my dad? My mom is in California with her sister and parents for awhile and just to make sure my dad doesn't eat cereal all week, I thought it would be good to eat with him. My goal here is to eat something healthy after weigh in. In the past I have always used the night after weigh in as a "eat whatever and as much as I can" night. I'm not kidding. I would lose 3 pounds and then go to Hasty Freeze and eat a Cheeseburger and Fry and then come home and eat whatever else I could get my hands on.....well now I'm gonna try something different. I don't know why I sabotaged myself like that, I know its ok to occasionally have a treat and a cheeseburger for that matter, but I seriously looked like one of those binge eaters that would shove my whole hand down my throat shoving the food in and lick my fingers cause it taste so good. Hahaha that visual disgusting!
I am a person that doesn't like change, I like it when everyone is happy and gets along, and if something works then have it stay that way forever. When things do change is when I start to feel out of control. There have been a lot of changes in my life the last few years and now some recently with Erich getting a new job. It doesn't bother me that hes not always home, he was a truck driver for petes sake, he used to go to LA all the time, it wasn't until just recently that he was home everyday, I don't have a constant worry about his job, I don't think I am naive, I read the newspaper and the Internet and I watch the news, but I guess that is what God is for, I have to give it to Him, He is ultimately in control. Erich will be leaving Sunday night for his 4 month academy, just to clarify he will be coming home on the weekends so we will see him and hes not far away so we can always get to him if we need to. So with this change, I'm going to use it to my advantage, maybe selfish, but as a time to concentrate on myself. To go to the gym, to get organized, to weed out the bad and focus on the good. So I can be a better mom, wife and worker. Its time for me to take over my life rather than me allowing food or money, or the world take over mine. I'm not sure where this all came from, I'm a little random, but these thoughts were in my head as I'm sitting here. I guess my challenge is that if you don't like change, use the change to your benefit to make you stronger and grow, if we all just stayed stagnant we wouldn't get anywhere in life. The obstacles we go thru and overcome, makes us who we are. To be honest I have to keep telling myself this, I haven't accomplished all this, this is my real life goal. Anywho I ramble alot.
So tomorrow I will check in with weight loss results and what I had for dinner. I need to be accountable and if you see me in the Hasty Freeze drive thru..Honk and tell me to leave :)
So tomorrow at 5 :15 I go weigh and hopefully please oh please lose 3 pounds! Then after I am meeting my dad for dinner. Have I ever mentioned that I really like my dad? My mom is in California with her sister and parents for awhile and just to make sure my dad doesn't eat cereal all week, I thought it would be good to eat with him. My goal here is to eat something healthy after weigh in. In the past I have always used the night after weigh in as a "eat whatever and as much as I can" night. I'm not kidding. I would lose 3 pounds and then go to Hasty Freeze and eat a Cheeseburger and Fry and then come home and eat whatever else I could get my hands on.....well now I'm gonna try something different. I don't know why I sabotaged myself like that, I know its ok to occasionally have a treat and a cheeseburger for that matter, but I seriously looked like one of those binge eaters that would shove my whole hand down my throat shoving the food in and lick my fingers cause it taste so good. Hahaha that visual disgusting!
I am a person that doesn't like change, I like it when everyone is happy and gets along, and if something works then have it stay that way forever. When things do change is when I start to feel out of control. There have been a lot of changes in my life the last few years and now some recently with Erich getting a new job. It doesn't bother me that hes not always home, he was a truck driver for petes sake, he used to go to LA all the time, it wasn't until just recently that he was home everyday, I don't have a constant worry about his job, I don't think I am naive, I read the newspaper and the Internet and I watch the news, but I guess that is what God is for, I have to give it to Him, He is ultimately in control. Erich will be leaving Sunday night for his 4 month academy, just to clarify he will be coming home on the weekends so we will see him and hes not far away so we can always get to him if we need to. So with this change, I'm going to use it to my advantage, maybe selfish, but as a time to concentrate on myself. To go to the gym, to get organized, to weed out the bad and focus on the good. So I can be a better mom, wife and worker. Its time for me to take over my life rather than me allowing food or money, or the world take over mine. I'm not sure where this all came from, I'm a little random, but these thoughts were in my head as I'm sitting here. I guess my challenge is that if you don't like change, use the change to your benefit to make you stronger and grow, if we all just stayed stagnant we wouldn't get anywhere in life. The obstacles we go thru and overcome, makes us who we are. To be honest I have to keep telling myself this, I haven't accomplished all this, this is my real life goal. Anywho I ramble alot.
So tomorrow I will check in with weight loss results and what I had for dinner. I need to be accountable and if you see me in the Hasty Freeze drive thru..Honk and tell me to leave :)
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Day 11
The days between 8-10 really were boring days and Jake had games in the evening and really I had nothing to say...shocker I know. I exercised each of those days, stayed on track with my points and was just really boring.
So I have a question...Why do you over eat if you do over eat? I have all kinds of theories in my random talk to myself mind. I really eat for all occasions...happy, sad, stressed, tastes good, anything triggers it. Some days I feel like I deserve it, other days I just really don't care and it tastes good. But when I really get down to it, I think I eat to shove stuff down, ok that probably sounds weird and needs explanation, but when I don't like to deal with something in my life or don't like whats going on, I have a hard time talking about it, that may sound weird too when sometimes all I do is talk, but for real, I withdraw when I don't like the conversation or whats going on around me. So when things get uncomfortable I find myself going towards food and its almost like I'm stuffing down the real feelings, now does that make sense? Don't make me feel stupid here people...its an analogy, but I think for myself its a good one. These last few years have brought a few trials and struggles, and its apparent in my weight, beings I am the heaviest I have ever weighed, even being 9 months pregnant carrying a 11 pound baby inside me. Even tho I don't think consciencelessly (is that a word?)I was trying to do that, but as I dig into it, its exactly what I was doing. So to me knowing is half the battle. I am so done living my life the way I was, and I'm excited to take my new found knowledge and my mistakes and move on and be better inside and out. I know it doesn't take a rocket scientist to come to these conclusions, but I believe that we all have to come to some conclusions in our life on our own. Doesn't make one person better than the other, I believe God has timing in everything. God just thought 38 was a good age for me I guess :) Anywho, enough with the counseling sessions, and let me tell you about my Biggest Loser Group.
I am in a group with 4 other girls, along with the competition we receive 1 hour of group training, so Jena set it up to happen today. So brilliant me thinks that it would be great to do a spin class before the group meets and really get some good exercise in. Today's spin class is a 90 minute class, haha who in the world can do that?, well Heidi my rival spinner does it! Grrrr. So I just came for the last 40 minutes of it, and that was enough to make me wanna die, normally I only go for 30. So the rest of the girls show up for our training and Brenda the Nazi trainer whips us into shape (she's really not a Nazi, she just tells you what to do and doesn't care if it hurts, but she is encouraging and she also teaches the spin class I take, I just like to use words like that for entertainment purposes) so we do about a 45 minute workout with her, lunges, pushups, situps, wallsits, weights, cardio....must I go on it makes my legs ache just to repeat it. Ugh! I left there and literally drove straight home cause I thought I was gonna puke! I felt horrible, my head was pounding. I mean seriously that was a lot for this big girl. I took a hot shower, could barely lift my arms up to wash my hair, and I took 4 advil and layed in bed. As I layed there I thought at what I had accomplished and wow, I CAN do things if I really try hard. I started to feel better and got up and got ready, and changed my mind set from being whipped like a dog to being proud if what I have accomplished and the justice I served my body, it was a good ache. I wish I had someone like that pushing me everyday, we are our own worst enemies at times, talking us out of doing something, but really we CAN do it, it may not feel good, it may not feel normal, but I did it and so can anyone else. I wasn't the best in my group and I wasn't the last in my group and they all weigh less than I do, so it CAN be done. So my goal for Tuesdays WW weigh in is 3 pounds. If I can lose 3 pounds then I am at my lowest in weigh ins and will put me 19 pounds lighter than the the 1st day of WW in October. If you watch the Biggest Loser, you saw that guy who had his weight written on his arm with a Sharpie to remind him of his weekly goal, and that's exactly the mind set I am using, but I'm not writing on my arm, that's kinda tacky, plus I wouldn't advertise my weight on my forearm.
I hope whoever reads this blog doesn't feel that I am putting this out here for kudos....I need accountability, not just in weight loss but in other areas of my life. I feel like if its out there for people to read then it will help me stay focused and makes others aware of my struggles so we can all help each other. So thank you for being supportive and allowing me to be myself. I have a LONG way to go....
So I have a question...Why do you over eat if you do over eat? I have all kinds of theories in my random talk to myself mind. I really eat for all occasions...happy, sad, stressed, tastes good, anything triggers it. Some days I feel like I deserve it, other days I just really don't care and it tastes good. But when I really get down to it, I think I eat to shove stuff down, ok that probably sounds weird and needs explanation, but when I don't like to deal with something in my life or don't like whats going on, I have a hard time talking about it, that may sound weird too when sometimes all I do is talk, but for real, I withdraw when I don't like the conversation or whats going on around me. So when things get uncomfortable I find myself going towards food and its almost like I'm stuffing down the real feelings, now does that make sense? Don't make me feel stupid here people...its an analogy, but I think for myself its a good one. These last few years have brought a few trials and struggles, and its apparent in my weight, beings I am the heaviest I have ever weighed, even being 9 months pregnant carrying a 11 pound baby inside me. Even tho I don't think consciencelessly (is that a word?)I was trying to do that, but as I dig into it, its exactly what I was doing. So to me knowing is half the battle. I am so done living my life the way I was, and I'm excited to take my new found knowledge and my mistakes and move on and be better inside and out. I know it doesn't take a rocket scientist to come to these conclusions, but I believe that we all have to come to some conclusions in our life on our own. Doesn't make one person better than the other, I believe God has timing in everything. God just thought 38 was a good age for me I guess :) Anywho, enough with the counseling sessions, and let me tell you about my Biggest Loser Group.
I am in a group with 4 other girls, along with the competition we receive 1 hour of group training, so Jena set it up to happen today. So brilliant me thinks that it would be great to do a spin class before the group meets and really get some good exercise in. Today's spin class is a 90 minute class, haha who in the world can do that?, well Heidi my rival spinner does it! Grrrr. So I just came for the last 40 minutes of it, and that was enough to make me wanna die, normally I only go for 30. So the rest of the girls show up for our training and Brenda the Nazi trainer whips us into shape (she's really not a Nazi, she just tells you what to do and doesn't care if it hurts, but she is encouraging and she also teaches the spin class I take, I just like to use words like that for entertainment purposes) so we do about a 45 minute workout with her, lunges, pushups, situps, wallsits, weights, cardio....must I go on it makes my legs ache just to repeat it. Ugh! I left there and literally drove straight home cause I thought I was gonna puke! I felt horrible, my head was pounding. I mean seriously that was a lot for this big girl. I took a hot shower, could barely lift my arms up to wash my hair, and I took 4 advil and layed in bed. As I layed there I thought at what I had accomplished and wow, I CAN do things if I really try hard. I started to feel better and got up and got ready, and changed my mind set from being whipped like a dog to being proud if what I have accomplished and the justice I served my body, it was a good ache. I wish I had someone like that pushing me everyday, we are our own worst enemies at times, talking us out of doing something, but really we CAN do it, it may not feel good, it may not feel normal, but I did it and so can anyone else. I wasn't the best in my group and I wasn't the last in my group and they all weigh less than I do, so it CAN be done. So my goal for Tuesdays WW weigh in is 3 pounds. If I can lose 3 pounds then I am at my lowest in weigh ins and will put me 19 pounds lighter than the the 1st day of WW in October. If you watch the Biggest Loser, you saw that guy who had his weight written on his arm with a Sharpie to remind him of his weekly goal, and that's exactly the mind set I am using, but I'm not writing on my arm, that's kinda tacky, plus I wouldn't advertise my weight on my forearm.
I hope whoever reads this blog doesn't feel that I am putting this out here for kudos....I need accountability, not just in weight loss but in other areas of my life. I feel like if its out there for people to read then it will help me stay focused and makes others aware of my struggles so we can all help each other. So thank you for being supportive and allowing me to be myself. I have a LONG way to go....
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Day 7 - Squirrel
Ok so my title makes me laugh, cause its random, and I think I'm random. I sit and think what to type sometimes and all these random thoughts come to mind, and really none of it goes together and I am horrible at getting my point across. I was thinking today as my house is blown to heck, that I am either organized or Im so far out in left field, I really dont have a balance. I'm working towards it tho. This weekend I had my house clean, laundry about 2 loads away from being completed, dishes done, meals planned, tracked my points, just organized and feeling in control. Take 2 days at work and not getting home til 9:00pm each night and its all blown to heck. I didnt know what to have for dinner tonight, just grabbed for stuff, dishes all over, so I just curled up on the couch and watched Biggest Loser. I need to find some order, some way to make it work. I like to think I can fly by the seat of my pants and I'm very flexible, thanks to my mom, and trust me I rather be that way then so anal I cant bend for anyone or anything. But sometimes I wish I could handle it all and stay focused, but I guess its life. And Im definetly not the only working mom who has children in activites every night of the week, so Im gonna shut it and move on to some good news but your gonna have to follow along cause I have some explaining to do....
So the other day or last night or whenever I told you that I havent weighed in at Weight Watchers cause I knew I gained weight, I think I said I gained 8 pounds and I hadnt weighed for 2 weeks. Well Im a liar, I looked at my book today, and I havent weighed for 3 weeks, and actually had gained 10 pounds not 8, I didnt realize it had been that long, I stuck to the diet for while and then when I found out about the Biggest Loser competition I didnt want to be to into it before I weighed so I would lose more during the challenge...make sense? So tonight I proimised to weigh at WW, good or bad. I knew I would be up so before going to WW I went to the gym to weigh on their scale to see how much I lost since I weighed in there last week...are you fllowing me? I thought if I did this and saw that I lost some weight, it wouldnt make the weight gain at WW so painful (I play mind games with myself, dork I know) So I went to the gym and weighed myself....wait for it.....wait for it.....8 POUNDS! the scale was down 8 pounds from when I got in it last Wednesday, now some of you may think thats alot for one week, well let me just tell you that I drank hardly any water the weeks prior, just straight diet pepsi, and when you turn your eating around and lower your calorie intake drastically and exercise alot, the first week will usually show a drastic loss,especially if your a big girl, this isnt my first rodeo so I wasnt to surprised. Its the encouragment I needed. I showed up to weight watchers and weighed there and was up 2.8. I wasnt discouraged because I knew this last week I had lost alot and worked really hard to do so. I am not going to weigh on the gym scale again til February at a mandatory weigh in, so from now on my weight loss will be from the WW scale, except for the finale of Biggest Loser. So does this make sense. My WW weight and my Biggest Loser weight are 2 different things at this point because I gained weight back over the holidays. If your confused, I apologize but I warned you I am horrible at explaining myself.
I am excited for tomorrow, to get back at it, another spin class and toning class, Im still not as cool as Heidi (who by the way became my friend on Facebook today) and going to 2 spin classes in 1 day, but its a goal. 2 pounds til I get a new workout outfit and maybe I will make it my next goal to attend 2 spin classes in 1 day....sounds good to me.
I also said I would have Erich take a picture of me and post it, well let me be honest, I can talk and talk about being overweight, but I despise pictures of myself, and its a something I want to get over, I cant keep photoshopping Christy Brinkley in our family pictures, my kids are gonna need some memories of me. I will see what I can find, not that you all need to see a picture of me, but its always nice to see comparisions as time goes on. I told Jessica today that I was gonna post a picture in a sports bra and spandex like they do on the real Biggest Loser, I thought she was gonna spit her water out. Haha you couldnt pay me enough, well maybe, but it would have to be alot.
My niece posted this verse on Facebook tonight and I find it fitting..."For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10
No matter our weight or whatever is getting us down...we are God's masterpiece. Thanks for posting that Rachel.
Goodnight
So the other day or last night or whenever I told you that I havent weighed in at Weight Watchers cause I knew I gained weight, I think I said I gained 8 pounds and I hadnt weighed for 2 weeks. Well Im a liar, I looked at my book today, and I havent weighed for 3 weeks, and actually had gained 10 pounds not 8, I didnt realize it had been that long, I stuck to the diet for while and then when I found out about the Biggest Loser competition I didnt want to be to into it before I weighed so I would lose more during the challenge...make sense? So tonight I proimised to weigh at WW, good or bad. I knew I would be up so before going to WW I went to the gym to weigh on their scale to see how much I lost since I weighed in there last week...are you fllowing me? I thought if I did this and saw that I lost some weight, it wouldnt make the weight gain at WW so painful (I play mind games with myself, dork I know) So I went to the gym and weighed myself....wait for it.....wait for it.....8 POUNDS! the scale was down 8 pounds from when I got in it last Wednesday, now some of you may think thats alot for one week, well let me just tell you that I drank hardly any water the weeks prior, just straight diet pepsi, and when you turn your eating around and lower your calorie intake drastically and exercise alot, the first week will usually show a drastic loss,especially if your a big girl, this isnt my first rodeo so I wasnt to surprised. Its the encouragment I needed. I showed up to weight watchers and weighed there and was up 2.8. I wasnt discouraged because I knew this last week I had lost alot and worked really hard to do so. I am not going to weigh on the gym scale again til February at a mandatory weigh in, so from now on my weight loss will be from the WW scale, except for the finale of Biggest Loser. So does this make sense. My WW weight and my Biggest Loser weight are 2 different things at this point because I gained weight back over the holidays. If your confused, I apologize but I warned you I am horrible at explaining myself.
I am excited for tomorrow, to get back at it, another spin class and toning class, Im still not as cool as Heidi (who by the way became my friend on Facebook today) and going to 2 spin classes in 1 day, but its a goal. 2 pounds til I get a new workout outfit and maybe I will make it my next goal to attend 2 spin classes in 1 day....sounds good to me.
I also said I would have Erich take a picture of me and post it, well let me be honest, I can talk and talk about being overweight, but I despise pictures of myself, and its a something I want to get over, I cant keep photoshopping Christy Brinkley in our family pictures, my kids are gonna need some memories of me. I will see what I can find, not that you all need to see a picture of me, but its always nice to see comparisions as time goes on. I told Jessica today that I was gonna post a picture in a sports bra and spandex like they do on the real Biggest Loser, I thought she was gonna spit her water out. Haha you couldnt pay me enough, well maybe, but it would have to be alot.
My niece posted this verse on Facebook tonight and I find it fitting..."For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10
No matter our weight or whatever is getting us down...we are God's masterpiece. Thanks for posting that Rachel.
Goodnight
Monday, January 17, 2011
Day 6
You wanna know whats amazing? That I even walked up the stairs to get to this computer! 4 advil and a hot bath later..here I am! I did squats yesterday which made for a semi-painful morning this morning, then went to spin class today which I could feel every muscle in my legs burn, followed by a toning class that had me doing lunges and then a wall sit...for the LOVE! I am in pain...I kept uttering the words...YOU ARE NOT A QUITTER to myself over and over.
Today was a good day at the gym, I realized that when you open up about your struggles and talk with others that are battling the same things and also are in the Bigesst Loser challenge, it makes things soooo much easier. I understand that Im a talker but I just dont understand people who are embarrassed to talk about their weight, its not like being overweight is a hidden issue, not like eating toilet paper haha, sorry I had to throw that in their cause I watched a show on addiction. Seriously tho, things are so much easier when you can talk about them, especially when someone knows what your'e going thru. We all have struggles in life, for some its weight, others is cigarettes or alcohol, depression, obsessive compulsive, anything, doesnt make one person better than the other, so find a safe place to talk about it, join a Weight Watcher group, they are ALL there for the same reasons, even the skinny little annoyances have been heavy at one time! If its not weight find someone you feel safe talking to. Boy I kinda sound like Dr. Drew with no degree and horrible grammar! But you get my point, dont be ashamed of who you are, make yourself a better person because of what you are going thru. Heidi the spin chick, is very encouraging to me, she did spin class today and the toning class and she was gonna do some light weights until the 6:00 spin class and was gonna do it again... she's driven and that motivates me.
Tomorrow I weigh in at Weight Watchers, Im a little nervous because I havent weighed for 2 weeks, I knew with the holidays that I gained weight and I just could not see that + number on my book, its a total mind game, but I weighed in at the gym last Wednesday for the BL competition so I know where I was at, and to be honest I had gained 8 pounds, so tomorrow I will probably still show a gain in my book cause I doubt I lost 8 pounds, but at least I have the BL weight to compare a loss to, if that makes sense. I'm gonna have Erich take a picture tomorrow and upload it to here so there at least will be a comparison photo.
I am very lucky to have such a great support, Jena came and did spin class with me today, my mom doesnt offer me cookies, Lottie at work makes sure she explains everything she is cooking with (she cooks our lunches everday at work) and my kids love to use the WW calculator to help count points for me, and Erich never complains when I leave the house to go to the gym and doesnt ask for pizza. I'm excited for tomorrow to see how this past week has paid off!
Today was a good day at the gym, I realized that when you open up about your struggles and talk with others that are battling the same things and also are in the Bigesst Loser challenge, it makes things soooo much easier. I understand that Im a talker but I just dont understand people who are embarrassed to talk about their weight, its not like being overweight is a hidden issue, not like eating toilet paper haha, sorry I had to throw that in their cause I watched a show on addiction. Seriously tho, things are so much easier when you can talk about them, especially when someone knows what your'e going thru. We all have struggles in life, for some its weight, others is cigarettes or alcohol, depression, obsessive compulsive, anything, doesnt make one person better than the other, so find a safe place to talk about it, join a Weight Watcher group, they are ALL there for the same reasons, even the skinny little annoyances have been heavy at one time! If its not weight find someone you feel safe talking to. Boy I kinda sound like Dr. Drew with no degree and horrible grammar! But you get my point, dont be ashamed of who you are, make yourself a better person because of what you are going thru. Heidi the spin chick, is very encouraging to me, she did spin class today and the toning class and she was gonna do some light weights until the 6:00 spin class and was gonna do it again... she's driven and that motivates me.
Tomorrow I weigh in at Weight Watchers, Im a little nervous because I havent weighed for 2 weeks, I knew with the holidays that I gained weight and I just could not see that + number on my book, its a total mind game, but I weighed in at the gym last Wednesday for the BL competition so I know where I was at, and to be honest I had gained 8 pounds, so tomorrow I will probably still show a gain in my book cause I doubt I lost 8 pounds, but at least I have the BL weight to compare a loss to, if that makes sense. I'm gonna have Erich take a picture tomorrow and upload it to here so there at least will be a comparison photo.
I am very lucky to have such a great support, Jena came and did spin class with me today, my mom doesnt offer me cookies, Lottie at work makes sure she explains everything she is cooking with (she cooks our lunches everday at work) and my kids love to use the WW calculator to help count points for me, and Erich never complains when I leave the house to go to the gym and doesnt ask for pizza. I'm excited for tomorrow to see how this past week has paid off!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Day 4 and 5
Day 4 was kinda boring as far as exercise and dieting go, I had a great day otherwise, went to lunch with a good friend, got some paint samples, since Erich is leaving for 4 months, to occupy some of my time in the evenings I thought I would re-do our bedroom, but my love for decorating would be a completely different blog so I won't get into that, but I stuck with my diet but never did exercise. So onto day 5...
Day 5, so am I the only one who talks to myself in my brain? Erich worked today, I slept in which felt wonderful after sharing a bed with a 1 year old the night before who thought I was a foot rest haha, but she is so adorable it didnt really bother me just was lacking in the sleep dept. I've been keeping up on a episode of "I used to be fat" on MTV. I watched an episode this morning of a guy who lost 100 pounds. Shows like that motivate me ALOT. Usually I watch them late at night and I'm all gung ho and its worn off my the time morning comes, but today I had no excuse. So off to the gym I went. I literally argue with myself in my head, thats why I asked if Im the only one who does this? I worked out for 40 minutes alternating between cardio and some weights or situps. Everytime I was on a cardio device I would say that Im done, cause Im breathing hard and it hurts my legs, and then I argue and say..for petes sake lady your not gonna lose weight by quitting, and the converstaion repeats itself for 40 minutes...sometimes we are our own worst enemies. I am perfectly capable of completing an exercise, so why do I always wanna quit? I hate that! I tell myself who are you benefitting by quitting, definetly not me, and why do I need to quit, cause Im pushed out of my comfort zone? Yeah probably, I guess if people dont hear me talking outloud and the voices are contained, then people wont see me as crazy, and today it worked and I felt great after I was done. 40 minutes is less than an entire episode of Hoarders, so it really doesnt take much!
When I got home I made a really really good wrap that I want to share the recipe, its only 7 points plus and was filling, and for me a much needed change to my boring menu.
1 Flat Bread
2 or 3 ounces of ham
1 tsp of low fat mayo mixed with some honey
1 yellow bell pepper chopped up
a little bit of reduced fat cheddar cheese
(whatver other veggies you like to add)
I just brushed the whole flat bread with the mayo mixtures just for a little bit of flavor and layed the ham down followed by the peppers and cheese and rolled it up. It was very good!
So now Im sure people have done this, but this was out of the box for me, Im a horrible planner so I tend to eat the same thing over and over cause I know its safe. It takes time to track points, measure everything, and would definetly be easier to do if I didnt have to work, but I thought I would use my Sundays to plan things out, take my time to find new recipes and make things more fun and add a variety. Like I said, this may not be a big deal to some, but to me its a very big deal.
I feel good today that I accomplished a gym workout, even tho my thighs kill from squats, and I ate good and ate something completely different from the norm, Ive never had a yellow bell pepper in my shopping cart! Tomorrow is spin class and also another "Biggest Loser" conversation with "Heidi" who threatened to send donuts to my work...bring it on spin chick! I am determined!
*Heidi is her real name and she's my competiton!
Day 5, so am I the only one who talks to myself in my brain? Erich worked today, I slept in which felt wonderful after sharing a bed with a 1 year old the night before who thought I was a foot rest haha, but she is so adorable it didnt really bother me just was lacking in the sleep dept. I've been keeping up on a episode of "I used to be fat" on MTV. I watched an episode this morning of a guy who lost 100 pounds. Shows like that motivate me ALOT. Usually I watch them late at night and I'm all gung ho and its worn off my the time morning comes, but today I had no excuse. So off to the gym I went. I literally argue with myself in my head, thats why I asked if Im the only one who does this? I worked out for 40 minutes alternating between cardio and some weights or situps. Everytime I was on a cardio device I would say that Im done, cause Im breathing hard and it hurts my legs, and then I argue and say..for petes sake lady your not gonna lose weight by quitting, and the converstaion repeats itself for 40 minutes...sometimes we are our own worst enemies. I am perfectly capable of completing an exercise, so why do I always wanna quit? I hate that! I tell myself who are you benefitting by quitting, definetly not me, and why do I need to quit, cause Im pushed out of my comfort zone? Yeah probably, I guess if people dont hear me talking outloud and the voices are contained, then people wont see me as crazy, and today it worked and I felt great after I was done. 40 minutes is less than an entire episode of Hoarders, so it really doesnt take much!
When I got home I made a really really good wrap that I want to share the recipe, its only 7 points plus and was filling, and for me a much needed change to my boring menu.
1 Flat Bread
2 or 3 ounces of ham
1 tsp of low fat mayo mixed with some honey
1 yellow bell pepper chopped up
a little bit of reduced fat cheddar cheese
(whatver other veggies you like to add)
I just brushed the whole flat bread with the mayo mixtures just for a little bit of flavor and layed the ham down followed by the peppers and cheese and rolled it up. It was very good!
So now Im sure people have done this, but this was out of the box for me, Im a horrible planner so I tend to eat the same thing over and over cause I know its safe. It takes time to track points, measure everything, and would definetly be easier to do if I didnt have to work, but I thought I would use my Sundays to plan things out, take my time to find new recipes and make things more fun and add a variety. Like I said, this may not be a big deal to some, but to me its a very big deal.
I feel good today that I accomplished a gym workout, even tho my thighs kill from squats, and I ate good and ate something completely different from the norm, Ive never had a yellow bell pepper in my shopping cart! Tomorrow is spin class and also another "Biggest Loser" conversation with "Heidi" who threatened to send donuts to my work...bring it on spin chick! I am determined!
*Heidi is her real name and she's my competiton!
Friday, January 14, 2011
Day 3....Mind Games
UGH! So today is not as great as the last 2 days. Last night I went with the mind set of getting up early and doing the Jillian Michaels DVD. Well Erich left for work early, the kids were picked up early for school, it was still dark outside and my bed was sooo cozy, so Jillian was just gonna have to wait. I thought well I can do the elyptical at lunchtime (we have one at work) So I put my breakfast together, journaled my points and went off to work. About 11am Brian told me that he and the guys were going to lunch, so that means Im there alone and needed to get my lunch before they left, I thought surely a Subway sandwich would be a great choice, went and got myself a footlong ham with veggies. No elyptical for me during lunch. I am watching Brian's kids tonight over night, so I thought I could go to the gym and Jessica could watch the kids, when I got home I got out my dining out campanion and searched for the sandwich points..UM I ATE 18 POINTS on just a sandwich that honestly didnt keep me full. Instantly I was disappointed by lunch time I had already eaten 25 points, I only had 10 points for the whole rest of the day. You may think big deal, but you see I panic...I get mad at myself, I start to wonder what I can eat, and there on my counter was a pizza for the kids, so I have a slice, then 2, and I mentally continue to beat myself up, I dont go to the gym and now Ive eaten another 16 points by this time. I do have extra points I can use, but I instantly feel like a failure and I hate that!
The mind can definetly be your enemy, its more than just eating right, there is alot of emotional baggage that follows me, I talk myself into things, and I talk myself out of things...so frustrating. I didnt exercise today, I didnt eat like I wanted to, mostly due to poor planning, and unexpected events. UGH! Tomorrow is a new day and I play to stay on target and I WILL go to the gym. I didnt completely blow it, but I allow myself to believe I did. I am afraid of failure, I hate to disappoint :(
The mind can definetly be your enemy, its more than just eating right, there is alot of emotional baggage that follows me, I talk myself into things, and I talk myself out of things...so frustrating. I didnt exercise today, I didnt eat like I wanted to, mostly due to poor planning, and unexpected events. UGH! Tomorrow is a new day and I play to stay on target and I WILL go to the gym. I didnt completely blow it, but I allow myself to believe I did. I am afraid of failure, I hate to disappoint :(
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Day 2
I dont know what is blogging etiquette is, not sure if everyday is too much or if I should just do whenever, my problem is that I talk to much so I could probably blog all day haha. So I guess I will just see how it goes, and how much time I have.
Weight Watchers changed their program the last part of Decemeber and I will have to say I was not a bit ammused. I actually was mad, I am not a planner, and so not organized. On the old plan I knew exactly what I could eat and my points memorized of my favorite foods and I ate pretty much the same thing every day. So when it was announced (the new plan) that now we can have FREE FRUIT, people were clapping and I thought..WHO CARES! I didnt really eat fruit and when I eat fruit I feel like Im a diet. Now my favorite carbs went up in points and I was just not happy. I stuck with the old plan and figured I would just do it my way, yeah cause thats gotten me far in life! So when I started this new challenge yesterday I also was determined to follow the new Points Plus plan as well. So I bought lots of no points fruit (yippee) and started journaling. I am happy to say that these last 2 days I have followed the new points plus program and went thru my cupboards and recalculated my favortite foods and marked the points on the boxes with a sharpie. So far I have accomplished goal #1. Now for goal #2.....
Goal #2...Boy do I need some workout clothes! I only own 1 pair of shorts and I paint in them, so they are way classy! And I really have no tshirts or sweatpants. Ever gone to the gym and ran into Barbie? You know the hot blonde with her hair up in a ponytail, in her tight spandex that actually looks great on her, and all the guys turn as she walk by, yeah I dont like her! So I set a goal....when I lose 10 pounds I get to go buy some cute matching workout clothes. Im sure I could go buy some now if I really wanted to, but I get overwhelmed with big numbers so thought this would be something to work towards. My first weigh in will be Tuesday the 18th. I think my kids will appreciate it as well, since I showed up to Jake's basketball game tonight looking like a hot mess since I came straight from the gym and wearing an ugly outfit.
I just wanted to say that I appreciate all your kind words, it keeps me encouraged,motivated and accountable. Tomorrow morning after the kids leave for school I'm going to attempt to do the Jillian Michael 30 day shred video...some of the other Biggest Loser people are working out tons and I need to step it up.
Weight Watchers changed their program the last part of Decemeber and I will have to say I was not a bit ammused. I actually was mad, I am not a planner, and so not organized. On the old plan I knew exactly what I could eat and my points memorized of my favorite foods and I ate pretty much the same thing every day. So when it was announced (the new plan) that now we can have FREE FRUIT, people were clapping and I thought..WHO CARES! I didnt really eat fruit and when I eat fruit I feel like Im a diet. Now my favorite carbs went up in points and I was just not happy. I stuck with the old plan and figured I would just do it my way, yeah cause thats gotten me far in life! So when I started this new challenge yesterday I also was determined to follow the new Points Plus plan as well. So I bought lots of no points fruit (yippee) and started journaling. I am happy to say that these last 2 days I have followed the new points plus program and went thru my cupboards and recalculated my favortite foods and marked the points on the boxes with a sharpie. So far I have accomplished goal #1. Now for goal #2.....
Goal #2...Boy do I need some workout clothes! I only own 1 pair of shorts and I paint in them, so they are way classy! And I really have no tshirts or sweatpants. Ever gone to the gym and ran into Barbie? You know the hot blonde with her hair up in a ponytail, in her tight spandex that actually looks great on her, and all the guys turn as she walk by, yeah I dont like her! So I set a goal....when I lose 10 pounds I get to go buy some cute matching workout clothes. Im sure I could go buy some now if I really wanted to, but I get overwhelmed with big numbers so thought this would be something to work towards. My first weigh in will be Tuesday the 18th. I think my kids will appreciate it as well, since I showed up to Jake's basketball game tonight looking like a hot mess since I came straight from the gym and wearing an ugly outfit.
I just wanted to say that I appreciate all your kind words, it keeps me encouraged,motivated and accountable. Tomorrow morning after the kids leave for school I'm going to attempt to do the Jillian Michael 30 day shred video...some of the other Biggest Loser people are working out tons and I need to step it up.
So it starts
Well so it begins. I've never blogged before and i honestly dont now how to do all this so bear with me as I learn to add pictures and personalize this blog as I go. This first post will be lengthy just so I can start from the beginnng and get caught up to where I am today.
I've never been thin, not that I can remember except my cute little pictures when I was 3....but in school nah never. So since I didnt have the looks I guess I used my sense of humor to get myself thru everything. But its a front to my insecurities thats for sure. The one thing I always do say is that Erich married me fat so I dont ever have to question if that bothers him or not.
So Im not going to bother you with all my pasts diets and weight losses cause the list is long and quite embarrassing, nor am I going to post my weight, not yet anyways. When I make some remarkable milestone then maybe, just maybe I will put it out there. However I will post pictures once I figure out how to do it. So Im just gonna start with the right now.....
We were invited to go on a cruise to Mexico last October, we were so excited and thought we better hit the gym and get to losing weight, we were pretty gung ho the first few months, I met with a personal trainer and I could tell in my clothes I was definetly losing, but then the stresses of life and being busy with the kids, I just kinda fell out of the routine. We went to a "before" the cruise party to get information and what not and there at the party was "Jena the Weight Watcher Lady" Oh dear Lord there goes the 2nd coconut cupcake I was gonna eat! I thought oh man Im going on a cruise full of food and am I going to feel guilty or like she is going to watch me. AHHHH!!! So on the cruise we went, and spent alot of our time with "Jena the WW Lady" and as she told her own personal stories of losing 115 pounds and knowing what its like, my guard slowly went down and Erich and I said that we should go back to Weight Watchers! Well let me tell you when the defining moment of YES I AM GOING TO WEIGHT WATCHERS! So have you ever been on a cruise ship? Rooms a little small and a full length mirror on the OUTSIDE of the bathroom door, so when your at the vanity putting makeup on, looking into the mirror you can see your whole BACKSIDE in the mirror behind you? Ok so I know I have a butt, BUT did I really know how Big that butt was? I almost started crying immediatly, I was horrified and embarrassed and insecure and just felt EWWW! So I tried to enjoy the rest of my trip and the following Tuesday I started WW. Since then I have lost 18 pounds and was getting excited to watch the weight fall off. The holidays kinda put a damper on my loss and got me off track, during this time I continued talking with Jena, our husbands are both sports nuts so no problem there, we have gone to dinner, she asked me to go shopping for home decor with her so now, she is..."Jena my friend" :) I woke up last week to a email from her, asking if I wanted to join a Biggest Loser competition at the gym her and I both go to (well that I belong to anyways haha), asking if I wanted to be part of a 5 member team. I was totally excited and new this was an opportunity to get back with it and winning money was involved! Yay! So yesterday I went to my weigh in and took the spin class and have 2 months to get as much weight off as possible. So Im kinda a verbal person so I thought it might be helpful if I journal my weight loss, my ups and downs, and well just be able to get it all out. Im doing it here rather than facebook posts, so that way people can pick and choose to read this or not haha.
So at the current time I attend Weight Watcher Meetings on Tuesday night with Jena (who is the coolest) being the leader and going to the gym "Fitness Experience", yesterday I took spin class and they need to make "wide ride" bike seats just saying, so come and join me on this journey...
I've never been thin, not that I can remember except my cute little pictures when I was 3....but in school nah never. So since I didnt have the looks I guess I used my sense of humor to get myself thru everything. But its a front to my insecurities thats for sure. The one thing I always do say is that Erich married me fat so I dont ever have to question if that bothers him or not.
So Im not going to bother you with all my pasts diets and weight losses cause the list is long and quite embarrassing, nor am I going to post my weight, not yet anyways. When I make some remarkable milestone then maybe, just maybe I will put it out there. However I will post pictures once I figure out how to do it. So Im just gonna start with the right now.....
We were invited to go on a cruise to Mexico last October, we were so excited and thought we better hit the gym and get to losing weight, we were pretty gung ho the first few months, I met with a personal trainer and I could tell in my clothes I was definetly losing, but then the stresses of life and being busy with the kids, I just kinda fell out of the routine. We went to a "before" the cruise party to get information and what not and there at the party was "Jena the Weight Watcher Lady" Oh dear Lord there goes the 2nd coconut cupcake I was gonna eat! I thought oh man Im going on a cruise full of food and am I going to feel guilty or like she is going to watch me. AHHHH!!! So on the cruise we went, and spent alot of our time with "Jena the WW Lady" and as she told her own personal stories of losing 115 pounds and knowing what its like, my guard slowly went down and Erich and I said that we should go back to Weight Watchers! Well let me tell you when the defining moment of YES I AM GOING TO WEIGHT WATCHERS! So have you ever been on a cruise ship? Rooms a little small and a full length mirror on the OUTSIDE of the bathroom door, so when your at the vanity putting makeup on, looking into the mirror you can see your whole BACKSIDE in the mirror behind you? Ok so I know I have a butt, BUT did I really know how Big that butt was? I almost started crying immediatly, I was horrified and embarrassed and insecure and just felt EWWW! So I tried to enjoy the rest of my trip and the following Tuesday I started WW. Since then I have lost 18 pounds and was getting excited to watch the weight fall off. The holidays kinda put a damper on my loss and got me off track, during this time I continued talking with Jena, our husbands are both sports nuts so no problem there, we have gone to dinner, she asked me to go shopping for home decor with her so now, she is..."Jena my friend" :) I woke up last week to a email from her, asking if I wanted to join a Biggest Loser competition at the gym her and I both go to (well that I belong to anyways haha), asking if I wanted to be part of a 5 member team. I was totally excited and new this was an opportunity to get back with it and winning money was involved! Yay! So yesterday I went to my weigh in and took the spin class and have 2 months to get as much weight off as possible. So Im kinda a verbal person so I thought it might be helpful if I journal my weight loss, my ups and downs, and well just be able to get it all out. Im doing it here rather than facebook posts, so that way people can pick and choose to read this or not haha.
So at the current time I attend Weight Watcher Meetings on Tuesday night with Jena (who is the coolest) being the leader and going to the gym "Fitness Experience", yesterday I took spin class and they need to make "wide ride" bike seats just saying, so come and join me on this journey...
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