Its been awhile....

I didn't blog at all last weekend when Erich was home with the computer, to be honest I didn't feel like it haha, and really no one even noticed. I'm learning thru this journey that really the one and only person you need to be accountable to is yourself! I thought by blogging and putting it out there for the people to see would help me stay on track, while some of it does there is the other side as to feeling like people are judging you and watching what you do, I can take it because I knew the consequences. Alot of it is speculation and as I learned a few years ago I shouldn't do that. But its really hard not to.

2 weeks ago I blogged and was going to weigh in that following Tuesday, I lost 2.6 or 2.8 pounds I don't remember exactly but it brought my weight loss total to 22 pounds and 15 pounds for the Biggest Loser Competition. I was excited and felt very motivated after I left there, thinking maybe next week I will lose 3 and make it to 25, which you get acknowledge at WW for that and I would blow by my 10% which you get acknowledged for that as well. Well it wasn't the case...I was sick the week prior and had a lot of coughing and wheezing so I laid of the exercise and for me, once I stop something its very hard for me to get back at it. I didn't exercise at all that week, my mom was in California so then I go to dinner with my dad, to make sure he eats more than cereal for dinner, so 2 nights in a row of eating out and then Friday night Erich came home and brought a friend from the academy and his wife so we went out to eat again, and still no exercising involved and I felt out of control with not knowing how many points were in my salad and then the bread that came along and then a french fry here and there...by the time Sunday rolls around I have the.....Screw it mentality. I know that I'm only hurting myself, the food taste wonderful don't get me wrong but I felt gross at night, bloated, uncomfortable and I end up getting so mad at myself. On Monday, Heidi and previously sent me a message on Face book telling me about a "gravity" class at the gym and said I should join. I responded back to her message, praying the class already started and it was to late for me to sign up, and then praying it was to full if I could sign up. She told me it started that Tuesday so I went to the gym and what do ya know, they had 1 spot. BLEH!!! :)

Tuesday I went to WW but I didn't weigh. I was afraid of the scale going up and I didn't want to see that, it blows my confidence, sorry that's just how I roll. I'm not the girl that looks at a gain and says...I will so beat that next week...I look at it and say....why do you even bother? So I didn't weigh and left class early to go to the 6:15 gravity class. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, and for Pete's sake it kicked my butt! Its a hour long class of basically doing weights with your own body weight..UGH! You can look the class up on YouTube if your interested to see how it works. After the class I felt like I was going to pass out, my arms killed, I felt dizzy but to be honest it felt GREAT! Even tho its painful its a good kind of pain. It was the motivation I needed and I am so thankful to Heidi for inviting me to the class and you all need to know that Heidi and Lissette who I take the class with are MY competition in the Biggest Loser, and they welcomed me and encourage me, and motivate me and for that I am so thankful. That is how it should be, I'm not competing against others I am doing this for MYSELF. I don't care if I win $250 and I don't care what people think of me if I have a bad week and maybe gain a pound. Its my Journey, and my story that I am willing to share that it may even help 1 single person. Any who enough of all that!

So my workout routine has consisted of Mon & Wed Spin Class and Body Sculpting for an hour and then Tues & Thurs Gravity Class for an hour and today for the first time ever I did a spin class for an hour straight. I can so feel it in my thighs but again its a good kind of pain. I am journaling my food and trying my best to make good choices, but if it takes me 2 years to get my weight off then so be it, I am doing the best I can and make mistakes, but I feel as long as you get back on it, you will succeed. Ive come to the conclusion that maybe I'm not ready to be out in a restaurant world, put food in front of me and I really have a hard time saying no thanks I will take lettuce! What sets food addiction aside from most others is that we NEED food to live, we don't need cigarettes, we don't need alcohol (however some are way funnier when they do use it) and we don't need drugs (illegal kind) so going to the grocery store or a restaurant can be difficult, its all about changing the lifestyle and making better choices and every week I learn something new. Hope you all have a good week next week and I hope to report a weight loss as of Tuesday, I think I have 2 more weeks til my official Biggest Loser weigh in, I need to get the official date. I get to go eat an apple now WOOHOO!

Day 32

I thought I better blog before Erich leaves today back up to the academy. Otherwise I don't have access to a computer in the evenings. So I'm on Day 32 of the Biggest Loser competition, I have about 28 days left. My goal is to lose at least 24 pounds during this time. I weighed in on Friday at the gym, there was a mandatory weigh in half way thru. I have lost 11 pounds, which does not thrill me, but puts me half way to my goal and I still have half way to get there, so I need to keep it up. I was sick last week for a few days, had a fever, coughing miserably, so I didn't go to the gym for a few days. Tomorrow I am starting back to spin class and I'm actually looking forward to it. I weighed in at Weight Watchers last Tuesday night and I lost another 3 pounds there, so I have lost a total of 20 pounds on Weight Watchers and a total of 11 on the Biggest Loser Challenge.

A few of my accomplishments these past few weeks is counting points before I eat something. Lottie had made scones the other morning and I smelled them as soon as I walked in the office...I thought hmmmm I could have that for breakfast, and I actually got a little excited. Then something in my brain told me to count the calories (you will know why when I share my ice cream story) so I went to WW.com and got the points for the scones. 13 points! and that didn't include the Devon shire Cream she had sitting there next to them. Needless to say I ate my yogurt and Banana for 3 points total. It is so important to count things before you eat them, things can totally fool you. When I was sick over the weekend, Erich and the kids were gone and I was laying on the couch watching movies and I decided that I "deserved" real Ice Cream. I scooped up 2 cups of Mint Chocolate Ice Cream and ate it, started to feel guilty so I got up and calculated the points...16 Points! I get a total of 35 points for a day...so that's really alot for really doing nothing for me other than making me feel bad. Don't get me wrong, I think we all can have a treat, and everything is ok in  moderation. But I really didn't even need this, It was about my feelings again....so I was proud of myself for staying away from the scones. To be honest Im not even a scone lover, it just smelled like heaven! The other accomplishment was hitting my 10 pound goal, I went to Old Navy and bought myself a pair of $14.50 yoga pants. I love them! I think I have over worn their welcome already, but they are so comfortable and I can wear them to exercise and to Jake's games and still look a bit hip. SO now for my next 10 pound goal? I really don't know....hmmm if you guys have any ideas let me know. I want it to be something affordable and something I wouldn't go do normally, I just cant think of something right now.

Everything is going ok with Erich being gone, I am busy every night of the week doing something with the kids, haven't had time to paint my room or even cut out my quilt, I have the fabric but no motivation at night. He is doing well in the academy, he has found a good friend and that makes it better for him. He comes home on the weekends and was able to take Jake to his Little League draft yesterday and him and I went to a Valentine Gala last night. Don't worry about me overeating there since I sat next to Jena haha. Part of me isn't kidding but really I am. Its good to have people around us to hold us accountable, but I know that she wouldn't judge me so really I'm kidding. I'm thankful for her support and I'm glad she is always there :)

I hope you all have a great week and have a fun Valentines Day, I now go get to see the Justin Bieber movie with my daughter, I'm trying to act excited lol. At least I have Misty to visit with. I will check back as soon as I can.