First I feel like I need to put a close to the "Jean Challenge" I did at the gym. I got into my smaller size jeans, and while I didn't win any prizes, I won the ultimate prize of fitting in my jeans. Ok that sounds so cliche and to be honest I wanted to win something, I knew the jeans fit but come on, lol. I'm glad the gym has challenges every once in awhile to keep me in check and a goal. I found out that I need those.
The greatest accomplishment of my "weight loss/work out" career (all 1 1/2 years of it haha) is that this last Sunday I completed my first half marathon. A year ago in April I ran my very first 5k and I thought I was going to die at the end, I kept running because I actually found it to be a little bit, tiny bit enjoyable. It is a great stress release and I feel good when I'm done. Last December I went out on a trek to see just how far I could run and I made it from my house to my parents house which was 10 miles. I had already signed up for the half marathon by this time, but it was the confidence I needed to know that I was going to be able to do this.
Training started in February and by March I hated running haha. It became a job, my body hurt, and I was just ready for it to get here. Half way thru my training my niece Rachel decided to join me in running and maybe the first week I was saying to her "Come on we are almost there" and by the next week she was saying it back to me...oh to be 19 again. The week prior to the 1/2 marathon, I did the Hippie Chick in Hillsboro, it was a 1/4 marathon. (Now I'm just gonna tell you, cause I'm honest...I wanted a fricken medal! Not all races you attend, do you get a medal. But big one like this you do) so as I'm running to the finish line, people who already did finish, are walking around or heading to their cars and I notice no medals around their neck, I started to think...are you kidding me?!? So I cross the finish line and I was handed a little box, inside that box was the best thing ever...A silver necklace that replicated a medal. I am in love with it. I wear it everyday and it will teach me to keep my thoughts and my mouth shut!!
So since I had dome the Hippie Chick I was reminded that I really do not like the whole "race" atmosphere, all the people and having to run when they say run (maybe I just don't like being told what to do haha) so it really made me nervous for the week ahead and part of me wished I hadn't have done it. All last week I was moody and on edge, the longest I have ever run was 10 miles and was hoping the extra 3 wouldn't have been that big of a deal, I watched what I ate, I drank a lot of water, I googled what to do before a half marathon, its all I could think about and talk about. We left Albany at 5:30am (My family, Rachel, and Heidi) and got there well before the race started, plenty of time for butterflies, and looking at everyone thinking that I didn't fit in. This is still an issue that I need to work on, "Runners" don't look like me, I don't look like a runner, it really plays on the self esteem, but I tell myself that I can prove that I can run. I knew I talked to myself alot, but I never realized how negative I talked to myself, so I have to say that over the last several months I have really tried to turn my talking more to the positive, telling myself that I am something, that I am capable, and that I'm tough...cocky maybe? not trying to be at all, negative self talk needs to stop!
I'm not going to go into all the details of how I felt every mile of that half marathon, but as I was running (there is alotttttt of alone time in ones head) I noticed that there are all kinds that run, some totally cute ponytail girls in running skirts, old people wearing bikini's (no joke) and legs taped up, knees taped up, hydration packs around their waists, and we were all there for the same reason. So it didnt matter what I looked like. When I crossed the finish line I thought I would cry and to be honest my 1st thought was...Where is the freaking bathroom?!? as the days have gone by and I have had time to think about it I actually get a little more emotional, the fat girl who thought all she would be is fat, started exercising, and set a goal to run a half marathon and DID IT!
