UGH! So today is not as great as the last 2 days. Last night I went with the mind set of getting up early and doing the Jillian Michaels DVD. Well Erich left for work early, the kids were picked up early for school, it was still dark outside and my bed was sooo cozy, so Jillian was just gonna have to wait. I thought well I can do the elyptical at lunchtime (we have one at work) So I put my breakfast together, journaled my points and went off to work. About 11am Brian told me that he and the guys were going to lunch, so that means Im there alone and needed to get my lunch before they left, I thought surely a Subway sandwich would be a great choice, went and got myself a footlong ham with veggies. No elyptical for me during lunch. I am watching Brian's kids tonight over night, so I thought I could go to the gym and Jessica could watch the kids, when I got home I got out my dining out campanion and searched for the sandwich points..UM I ATE 18 POINTS on just a sandwich that honestly didnt keep me full. Instantly I was disappointed by lunch time I had already eaten 25 points, I only had 10 points for the whole rest of the day. You may think big deal, but you see I panic...I get mad at myself, I start to wonder what I can eat, and there on my counter was a pizza for the kids, so I have a slice, then 2, and I mentally continue to beat myself up, I dont go to the gym and now Ive eaten another 16 points by this time. I do have extra points I can use, but I instantly feel like a failure and I hate that!
The mind can definetly be your enemy, its more than just eating right, there is alot of emotional baggage that follows me, I talk myself into things, and I talk myself out of things...so frustrating. I didnt exercise today, I didnt eat like I wanted to, mostly due to poor planning, and unexpected events. UGH! Tomorrow is a new day and I play to stay on target and I WILL go to the gym. I didnt completely blow it, but I allow myself to believe I did. I am afraid of failure, I hate to disappoint :(
been there done that a million times! I hate it when I go over my points! It's like digging into my savings! But, you are right...you did not go over what you are allowed when you take your extra points into account! You are still on track! You are doing great! Mary
ReplyDeleteFirst, you are not a disappointment. We are own worst enemies. I always say no one needs to beat me up because if you put me in a room by myself I will come out black and blue. I have been where you are. Once I stopped at Arby's because we were going to a kids pizza party where Jason said there would be no pizza for adults so I better eat. We stopped and I got a "Market FRESH" sandwich. 16 POINTS (and that's on the old system). I thought I was making a healthy choice and was so mad I didn't have any points left that day. The only thing I CAN/COULD do, is start NOW...allow yourself to recognize what happened and use it as feedback to make different decisions next time. The journey is not perfect, if it was, we'd all be 100% healthy, body, mind and soul. Life happens. It's your opportunity to choose what happens in the next minute, hours, days. God has given us Grace and now feel his love and know you have what it takes to be all you want to be.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Jena