I am guilty as charged, but on my way to work from the chiropractor this morning I had an epiphany.
I am the first person to call myself fat, to point it out (like people don't notice bahahaha) its a defense like..."Yeah I know I'm fat, I'm not in denial so you don't need to say anything" I defend my running alot with this also. I feel like when I say I run I feel like I need to follow it with..."Ive run up to 10 miles so I can run" its not boasting, its me trying to defend my not at all runners body. I feel safe at the gym, mostly because I see these people every day and they know what I'm capable of, but my biggest downfall is self criticism and it needs to stop for me...for everyone
While I am exercising all kinds of thoughts go thru my brain, when I show up for a 5k or a 10k, I look around at every ones gadgets, cute little running skirts, and 6 water bottles strapped to their waists and I think "Um I'm a little out of my league, I just start running and pray I make it back breathing, I have no gadgets or tricks" Then begins the self talk...who do you think you are?, you are not like these people, you are not little or cutesy, they are all staring at me waiting to see if I fail (seriously this kind of talk goes on inside me) then I have to switch gears to...you can do this, you have done this, you've trained for this, you are not a wimp and that has to be repeated over and over, and sometimes its 30 minutes of repeat and up to 2 hours, depending on how long the run.
So what I'm about to say next, is in no way meant to sound arrogant or am I trying to say look at me, it is simply about how one persons words can change what you think about yourself and pushes you to the next level. I have been seeing the chiropractor now for 3 weeks, this morning as I was telling him about my running and getting in trouble for the 2 mile run I did yesterday that I wasn't supposed to, he called me....an athlete. I could have married him right there. I have never been called that, nor in my life since High School have I ever thought that about myself. It made me see myself differently, that maybe I am ready to run with the big girls (and by big girls, I mean the ones that look like they run lol) So as I'm driving home with a grin the size of Texas, I thought, why do we beat ourselves up, and why are we so hard on ourselves ?!? Self destructive talk is so harmful and I think holds us back from what we are capable of doing. So stop saying that you are too big to exercise, stop calling yourself fat, stop being disappointed in yourself. Be proud that you are moving and breathing and trying to change things, be proud of each goal you complete...NO MORE BEING MEAN TO YOURSELF!
Disclaimer: I hope everyone knows that the stuff I talk about, I only say to possibly connect with someone who may be feeling the same way, not in any way to talk about myself like Im something neat. I struggle every flippen day with my eating habits and sometimes when Im at the gym I feel like saying..screw this, Im done. I am new to all this, Im changing on the outside but the inside is what needs the changes, the way we think about ourself.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Its been awhile
Its been awhile since Ive checked in, mostly cause Ive been in a funk and couldn't get myself out of it. In my life I am either totally organized, house clean, exercise and eat right or I'm totally opposite and everything is blown to heck and I'm a hot mess. Normally I can snap out of the latter one but this one threw me for a loop.
The week of Christmas I ran 6 mile the Monday before and then Christmas Eve morning I decided to run to my parents house from our house which is 10 miles. Endurance wise I made it no problem but it took a toll on my body after. My right hip has never been the same and its slowed my running down. With that mixed in with the weather and hating to run on a treadmill and rumors at Erich's work there is potential for layoffs, I slipped into a huge slump and have been struggling to get out of it. I justify it with...Ive worked out 6 days a week for a year and I'm entitled to being burned out, when the voice of reality says...if you wanna stay fit this is a lifestyle change not just a flash in the pan. So with that being said Ive done the following...
Monday the weather was beautiful so Rachel and I went on a 4 mile run...it felt great to be outside but the pain in my hip was horrible later that evening, yesterday we found out that Erich was safe from this round of layoffs and we are just praying that things will get better or they find a way to make things work, so there was another burden lifted (for the time being) and then this morning I went to my 1st chiropractor appointment. Dr Fortier works out at the gym I work out at, so I knew he would understand my desire to keep exercising and the fact I wanna run a 1/2 marathon in a few months. The visit went great, he can help me get ready for the marathon and guide me as I go and keep my body in line. However I am not supposed to run at all in any shape or form for 3 weeks. :( Never in my life did I think news like this would make me sad. For Pete's sake in my other life it would have been a dream to be told not to run bahaha. But I'm seriously sad, he told me that I will be fine and will not lose my endurance since I can still spin and he will get me back to shape so I can start running for my training, so I'm glad I went. Its important to listen to our bodies and its important to get correct training. Never be afraid to ask someone for help. When I first started the gym I was intimidated by the trainers, embarrassed that I didn't have the "look" of an exerciser and on and on and on. But really when you break the walls down and start utilizing others knowledge..it makes for healthy success. We can do things on our own, but it certainly makes things more fun when we have friends to share it with.
Now about that jean challenge...I suck! I'm trying but I am still a stress eater and I'm trying to substitute exercising for eating garbage, but it wins every once in awhile. I keep going as best I can but not sure how I'm gonna do :( I think I have 5 weeks left and I'm gonna try my darndest to get as much weight off as I can. So keep moving people, utilize your resources and your friends. Don't be embarrassed to ask for help or to let your body rest. I'm getting excited for the Rock n Roll Half Marathon but not as excited as that 13.1 sticker I'm gonna have on my Suburban.
The week of Christmas I ran 6 mile the Monday before and then Christmas Eve morning I decided to run to my parents house from our house which is 10 miles. Endurance wise I made it no problem but it took a toll on my body after. My right hip has never been the same and its slowed my running down. With that mixed in with the weather and hating to run on a treadmill and rumors at Erich's work there is potential for layoffs, I slipped into a huge slump and have been struggling to get out of it. I justify it with...Ive worked out 6 days a week for a year and I'm entitled to being burned out, when the voice of reality says...if you wanna stay fit this is a lifestyle change not just a flash in the pan. So with that being said Ive done the following...
Monday the weather was beautiful so Rachel and I went on a 4 mile run...it felt great to be outside but the pain in my hip was horrible later that evening, yesterday we found out that Erich was safe from this round of layoffs and we are just praying that things will get better or they find a way to make things work, so there was another burden lifted (for the time being) and then this morning I went to my 1st chiropractor appointment. Dr Fortier works out at the gym I work out at, so I knew he would understand my desire to keep exercising and the fact I wanna run a 1/2 marathon in a few months. The visit went great, he can help me get ready for the marathon and guide me as I go and keep my body in line. However I am not supposed to run at all in any shape or form for 3 weeks. :( Never in my life did I think news like this would make me sad. For Pete's sake in my other life it would have been a dream to be told not to run bahaha. But I'm seriously sad, he told me that I will be fine and will not lose my endurance since I can still spin and he will get me back to shape so I can start running for my training, so I'm glad I went. Its important to listen to our bodies and its important to get correct training. Never be afraid to ask someone for help. When I first started the gym I was intimidated by the trainers, embarrassed that I didn't have the "look" of an exerciser and on and on and on. But really when you break the walls down and start utilizing others knowledge..it makes for healthy success. We can do things on our own, but it certainly makes things more fun when we have friends to share it with.
Now about that jean challenge...I suck! I'm trying but I am still a stress eater and I'm trying to substitute exercising for eating garbage, but it wins every once in awhile. I keep going as best I can but not sure how I'm gonna do :( I think I have 5 weeks left and I'm gonna try my darndest to get as much weight off as I can. So keep moving people, utilize your resources and your friends. Don't be embarrassed to ask for help or to let your body rest. I'm getting excited for the Rock n Roll Half Marathon but not as excited as that 13.1 sticker I'm gonna have on my Suburban.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Turned my jeans in...
The "Rock your Jeans" challenge started this week, I decided not to buy a fancy pair of jeans, or an expensive pair. I figured that just cause they would end up fitting didn't mean that they would look good. I found a $18 pair on sale and decided to go with that. Yesterday I had to prove to Deana (one of the trainers) that I indeed could not button or zip my new pants. I told her no laughing! I was given a diet to follow, that frankly sounds like its going to miserable, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. So the 10 weeks begins.
Erich has started going back to the gym, which has been nice cause I was sooooo tired of all those guys hitting on me when I went alone. And I'm totally kidding and I'm not that vain so don't believe it! There is no competing with some of the tight spandex Barbies that work out there, and seriously I was kidding. But its very helpful that Erich is on track with me, with eating and exercising. He's a bit more hard core than I am tho so we each kinda follow our own plan.
A few weeks ago I decided that on the Christmas weekend I wasn't going to run my typical Saturday 4 to 5 mile run that I usually do. I run from our house to my work or almost to Target Distribution and back. This time I wanted to see how far I could run. So I told Erich that I was going to run as far as I could and then I would call him to come pick me up. He suggested that I run to my parents house in North Albany. Bahahaha omg sometimes he can be hilarious! So one day I clocked the miles and it was 10 miles almost exact, so I thought, why not try!?! I woke up Christmas Eve morning and thought hmmm, now mind you I am the most unpredictable runner around. I have no rhyme or reason as to what I do, I do eat carbs that night before and drink tons of water the day before, but I really don't know what I'm doing. I told Erich I was leaving and that I would call him, my first goal was to make it to LBCC, as I ran past our shop my dad was standing out on the side walk waiting for me in his coveralls, he smiled and waved (it was pretty cute) my next goal was 53rd street, then onto YMCA, then Hasty Freeze, then I got to the bridge to go over North Albany, it actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, BUT when I got to Gibson Hill...Holy Mother of Pearl I wanted to die. I checked my run keeper and it said I had gone 9 miles, I wanted to go 10 so badly so that's when you gotta dig deep, and tell yourself if you can go this far, you can go farther and you are not a wimp! I made it in 2 hours and 2 minutes to my parents back door, and I actually felt great! They say that's a runners high, lol I think french fries would do the same. I was so proud of myself and as Erich picked me up and we drove home the same way I ran, I couldn't believe that I actually went that far and didn't stop to walk once or give up. My body has paid for that run these last few days, I'm still pretty overweight so my weight pounding on my joints can be painful. I started taking Glucosimine and it really does help, Ive been running everyday this week and that would not have been possible last week before I started taking it. Just wanted to recommend it to anyone cause I really think it works. Its a little weird tho when I tell my parents I am taking it and my dad says...oh I give that to our dog! So its multipurpose!
This particular post is a bit "look at me" well I guess this whole blog is haha and that's not my intention. Its mostly to document for me, where I am at. I went back and read my old posts and it was right before I was going to run my first 5k. I posted how fast I could run a mile and for me to look back on that and compare to where I am now, it makes me excited to see that Ive improved. And also its for the people that think they cannot do something, its to encourage that indeed you can do something, because if I can do it, then by all means you SO can do it, but it just depends on how bad you want to do it. You have to find that desire inside you and use that to fuel you, it also helps to have friends and fun girls at the gym like I get to have. They all know how hard it is so we smile for each other, its a camaraderie rather than a competition and I am so thankful for them.
Hope you are all having a good start to the New Year, maybe do the jean challenge on your own and see if in 10 weeks you can button and zip your cool pants!
Erich has started going back to the gym, which has been nice cause I was sooooo tired of all those guys hitting on me when I went alone. And I'm totally kidding and I'm not that vain so don't believe it! There is no competing with some of the tight spandex Barbies that work out there, and seriously I was kidding. But its very helpful that Erich is on track with me, with eating and exercising. He's a bit more hard core than I am tho so we each kinda follow our own plan.
A few weeks ago I decided that on the Christmas weekend I wasn't going to run my typical Saturday 4 to 5 mile run that I usually do. I run from our house to my work or almost to Target Distribution and back. This time I wanted to see how far I could run. So I told Erich that I was going to run as far as I could and then I would call him to come pick me up. He suggested that I run to my parents house in North Albany. Bahahaha omg sometimes he can be hilarious! So one day I clocked the miles and it was 10 miles almost exact, so I thought, why not try!?! I woke up Christmas Eve morning and thought hmmm, now mind you I am the most unpredictable runner around. I have no rhyme or reason as to what I do, I do eat carbs that night before and drink tons of water the day before, but I really don't know what I'm doing. I told Erich I was leaving and that I would call him, my first goal was to make it to LBCC, as I ran past our shop my dad was standing out on the side walk waiting for me in his coveralls, he smiled and waved (it was pretty cute) my next goal was 53rd street, then onto YMCA, then Hasty Freeze, then I got to the bridge to go over North Albany, it actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, BUT when I got to Gibson Hill...Holy Mother of Pearl I wanted to die. I checked my run keeper and it said I had gone 9 miles, I wanted to go 10 so badly so that's when you gotta dig deep, and tell yourself if you can go this far, you can go farther and you are not a wimp! I made it in 2 hours and 2 minutes to my parents back door, and I actually felt great! They say that's a runners high, lol I think french fries would do the same. I was so proud of myself and as Erich picked me up and we drove home the same way I ran, I couldn't believe that I actually went that far and didn't stop to walk once or give up. My body has paid for that run these last few days, I'm still pretty overweight so my weight pounding on my joints can be painful. I started taking Glucosimine and it really does help, Ive been running everyday this week and that would not have been possible last week before I started taking it. Just wanted to recommend it to anyone cause I really think it works. Its a little weird tho when I tell my parents I am taking it and my dad says...oh I give that to our dog! So its multipurpose!
This particular post is a bit "look at me" well I guess this whole blog is haha and that's not my intention. Its mostly to document for me, where I am at. I went back and read my old posts and it was right before I was going to run my first 5k. I posted how fast I could run a mile and for me to look back on that and compare to where I am now, it makes me excited to see that Ive improved. And also its for the people that think they cannot do something, its to encourage that indeed you can do something, because if I can do it, then by all means you SO can do it, but it just depends on how bad you want to do it. You have to find that desire inside you and use that to fuel you, it also helps to have friends and fun girls at the gym like I get to have. They all know how hard it is so we smile for each other, its a camaraderie rather than a competition and I am so thankful for them.
Hope you are all having a good start to the New Year, maybe do the jean challenge on your own and see if in 10 weeks you can button and zip your cool pants!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Its been a long time....
I keep telling my friend Keri that I'm going to start blogging again, so I thought I better follow thru. It helps me get thoughts out of my head and share with people the struggles I have in hopes that maybe someone else feels the same and we can both find comfort in knowing we are not alone and learning together to make ourselves better people. Oh my that sounds really deep....
I walked into the gym last night and noticed a flier that read something like...."Rock your jeans challenge" so I inquire and learn that I need to bring in a pair of jeans that are two sizes to small (they cant zip or button and I have to prove this to staff) and then they keep the jeans, we have 10 weeks to lose weight and if our too small jeans zip and button our name goes into a drawing for prizes. Hmm so I feel I don't do well with competitions like this, I'm kind of a procrastinator and always wait til the last minute to do something, but with a challenge like this you cant wait til the last minute. Do I spend money on a great pair of jeans? or do I borrow jeans from someone? so I'm not out the money when I fail. I know that I should never use the word "fail" but come on lets be serious. You know how many times I have thought I could buy something smaller and it would motivate me to lose weight, bahahaha its never worked, so why would it now.
Ive learned over the last year how I tick as far as exercise and weight loss go. I do not like to compete against other people, like "whoever loses 10 pounds first buys the other a diet pepsi" that kind of motivation doesn't work for me, also I don't like it when people feel like they need to compete against me. I lose weight for one reason only, for myself. I will be honest and say that I don't like to get beat and occasionally this drives me, but what really drives me is bettering myself. (Like going a faster minute mile or doing pushups that I suck at) However I was at a race recently and a lady I had known thru the kids school was there and when she saw me she said "Oh wow are you running?" "Um yes" "Oh so have you trained for this?" "Um yes" and in my head I was thinking lady I hope I kick your ass or you trip and fall! Well needless to say I finished way ahead of her and thought to myself just cause I'm big doesn't mean I cant do what you can. Which leads me to another subject...
Why do I feel the need to explain myself? I went to the Eugene Running Store a few weeks back to get fitted for some good shoes, as soon as I started talking, I started rambling about how I really can run and that Ive lost 60 pounds and that Ive done some 5k's and a 10k blah blah blah and the guy was looking at me like...Who gives a rip woman, I just want to sell you shoes. When I meet people that don't know me, I feel like I have to give my whole history of "if you think I'm fat now, then you should have seen me 10 months ago" its stupid really, I don't owe anyone an explanation and honestly they don't really care and honestly I am assuming what they may be thinking. I am not trying to lose weight to impress anyone, to compete with anyone, to look better than anyone, I just came to a point in my life that I was so sick of feeling the way I do, seeing myself in that 3 way mirror and just feeling horrible and I still have those moments. I have a long way to go and its hard work. I look in the mirror and say...WTH and I get frustrated and want to perform plastic surgery on myself to get this ugly fat off. But Ive also learned that there are no quick fixes, sure you can binge diet, cut out certain things from your life, but what happens when you add them back in? I learned that it needs to be a life style change, the friends I have that have reached their goal say its just as hard to maintain their weight as it was to lose it. I believe that and I know this has to be my way forever. I have the exercise down to a T but the eating, UGH its sooooooo hard!
My insecurities get the best of me most of the time, I feel like since I post alot about my weight on face book that when people do see me they look at me like...hmmm gosh as much as she talks about working out, she ought to look better than that! I tell myself I don't care what people think, and really I shouldn't, but its human, but then I remind myself that I don't do what I do, for them so they can say what they want to say! So lets get back to this Jean challenge...
I'm going to do it! I'm not going to buy designer jeans, maybe some knock offs just in case they end up not even looking good when they do fit. I'm excited for a new challenge, I will not let the word "fail" be part of my vocabulary and I will be blogging my way thru this journey and also about my half marathon that I will be doing in May. I just printed off my training schedule and it gave me butterflies. When I was at the running store in Eugene there was a cute pink sticker that says "13.1" and I cant wait til I can go buy that and put it on my car...its the little things :)
I walked into the gym last night and noticed a flier that read something like...."Rock your jeans challenge" so I inquire and learn that I need to bring in a pair of jeans that are two sizes to small (they cant zip or button and I have to prove this to staff) and then they keep the jeans, we have 10 weeks to lose weight and if our too small jeans zip and button our name goes into a drawing for prizes. Hmm so I feel I don't do well with competitions like this, I'm kind of a procrastinator and always wait til the last minute to do something, but with a challenge like this you cant wait til the last minute. Do I spend money on a great pair of jeans? or do I borrow jeans from someone? so I'm not out the money when I fail. I know that I should never use the word "fail" but come on lets be serious. You know how many times I have thought I could buy something smaller and it would motivate me to lose weight, bahahaha its never worked, so why would it now.
Ive learned over the last year how I tick as far as exercise and weight loss go. I do not like to compete against other people, like "whoever loses 10 pounds first buys the other a diet pepsi" that kind of motivation doesn't work for me, also I don't like it when people feel like they need to compete against me. I lose weight for one reason only, for myself. I will be honest and say that I don't like to get beat and occasionally this drives me, but what really drives me is bettering myself. (Like going a faster minute mile or doing pushups that I suck at) However I was at a race recently and a lady I had known thru the kids school was there and when she saw me she said "Oh wow are you running?" "Um yes" "Oh so have you trained for this?" "Um yes" and in my head I was thinking lady I hope I kick your ass or you trip and fall! Well needless to say I finished way ahead of her and thought to myself just cause I'm big doesn't mean I cant do what you can. Which leads me to another subject...
Why do I feel the need to explain myself? I went to the Eugene Running Store a few weeks back to get fitted for some good shoes, as soon as I started talking, I started rambling about how I really can run and that Ive lost 60 pounds and that Ive done some 5k's and a 10k blah blah blah and the guy was looking at me like...Who gives a rip woman, I just want to sell you shoes. When I meet people that don't know me, I feel like I have to give my whole history of "if you think I'm fat now, then you should have seen me 10 months ago" its stupid really, I don't owe anyone an explanation and honestly they don't really care and honestly I am assuming what they may be thinking. I am not trying to lose weight to impress anyone, to compete with anyone, to look better than anyone, I just came to a point in my life that I was so sick of feeling the way I do, seeing myself in that 3 way mirror and just feeling horrible and I still have those moments. I have a long way to go and its hard work. I look in the mirror and say...WTH and I get frustrated and want to perform plastic surgery on myself to get this ugly fat off. But Ive also learned that there are no quick fixes, sure you can binge diet, cut out certain things from your life, but what happens when you add them back in? I learned that it needs to be a life style change, the friends I have that have reached their goal say its just as hard to maintain their weight as it was to lose it. I believe that and I know this has to be my way forever. I have the exercise down to a T but the eating, UGH its sooooooo hard!
My insecurities get the best of me most of the time, I feel like since I post alot about my weight on face book that when people do see me they look at me like...hmmm gosh as much as she talks about working out, she ought to look better than that! I tell myself I don't care what people think, and really I shouldn't, but its human, but then I remind myself that I don't do what I do, for them so they can say what they want to say! So lets get back to this Jean challenge...
I'm going to do it! I'm not going to buy designer jeans, maybe some knock offs just in case they end up not even looking good when they do fit. I'm excited for a new challenge, I will not let the word "fail" be part of my vocabulary and I will be blogging my way thru this journey and also about my half marathon that I will be doing in May. I just printed off my training schedule and it gave me butterflies. When I was at the running store in Eugene there was a cute pink sticker that says "13.1" and I cant wait til I can go buy that and put it on my car...its the little things :)
Monday, April 4, 2011
The Finale
I have to say I am kinda glad the Biggest Loser Challenge is over, as much as I need the push, I don't like the feeling of being in a competition, I don't do well with deadlines, I am a procrastinator by nature so when I have a deadline I wait til the end and then finish, cant do that with weight loss. When I started out the journey it was the motivation I needed, I had support and a cash prize in sight. In the end I got so much more....
When I first started WW, it was all about dumping off as much weight as I possibly could, as fast as I could. I have always heard that muscles weights more than fat so I was not going to exercise so it would come off faster. I lost 6 pounds the first week, so that was pure motivation. The more I would research, and talk to others, I realized in the long term, exercising really needs to be a part of my daily life. I want to be an active 80 year old, and I believe that exercise will help me achieve that, also gym workouts were a big part of Biggest Loser. I told you the story of Heidi, who invited me to gravity class and I was praying for it to be full, this class has actually turned out to be the best thing that has ever happened to me. I almost vomited the first day and I couldn't walk for days, but to me that is actually a good feeling knowing that my body is getting work it needs. But when you workout hard, and it kicks your butt, you would really hope the numbers on the scale would reflect that as well, its not the case for me. Some weigh ins, I would lose at all, sometimes I would make 2 pounds a week, it frustrated me beyond, because I was working so hard. I went in to weigh for Biggest Loser and Brenda (the trainer) measured me, from the last time I was measured, my hips and stomach area had gone down 10 inches! That made me smile! As much as I focus on the numbers on the scale I need to remember the gym work I am doing is paying off and building muscle, which in turn weighs more than fat, so I do use the the scale to see the progress, measuring is just as much a tool if not more to me. Lesson #1 learned
My routine consists of spin class 2 nights a week, gravity class 2 nights a week, spinning and jogging on Saturdays and jogging on Sundays...I started the jogging for cardio reasons, and to see how much I could actually do. Personally I find it boring, BUT I have never sweat so much in my life and that makes me feel great. I am not looking to do marathons, I am doing a 5k in California, and made that my goal. Last night at the gym I ran a 5k on the treadmill without stopping in 44 minutes. It makes me feel good that even tho I am still quite overweight I have the endurance to complete it. So with that the cliche of..If I can do it, you can do it comes to mind. Lesson #2 learned
My eating...UGH! This is probably the hardest thing ever for me. I want this to be a lifestyle change and I want it to be achievable. I mentioned above that in the beginning I wanted the weight off fast. I'm seeing that its not as easy at that. I like WW because I can eat whatever I want as long as it is within reason, and I just cant eat it ALL the time. Ive been on diets that had the food prepared for me, lost weight, gained it back. Ive been on diets that cut out carbs. white flour and sugar, lost tons of weight, gained it back. I cannot deprive myself of things, its not realistic for me. There is going to be times in life that I will want a piece of cake, and to have the mind set that I cant have cake, makes me want to have cake even more, and the mindset of when I'm done dieting and have lost the weight, then I can have cake, has been my mindset all along and what has put the weight back on. I discovered at Jessica's birthday party that I was enjoying the company of my family that I didn't even really need cake, so I opted out of it. I didn't miss it, and I felt good about not eating it. Saturday night, I went to dinner with some girlfriends and I really wanted a piece of chocolate cake and I had it. It played mind games with me at first, then I reminded myself, I was within my points and I had exercised an hour earlier that day. This is the way I want to live. Knowing that I can enjoy something, in moderation, and excising to offset my choices. Lesson #3 learned
My friends and family...The biggest thing and most unexpected to come from this challenge was the friends I made along the way and the support I received. I mentioned Heidi the spin chick in my very first blog, I had no idea how much of an impact Heidi would have on me. I used to see her all the time at Albany Christian, I always noticed her cause she dressed very stylish, I would see her at the gym and believe it or not, I'm not always outgoing, especially in a place I am intimidated so I really never talked to her, then she approached me in spin class and the rest is history. She pushes me, believes in me, goes out of her way to work out with me, and she is living proof that exercise and eating healthy WORKS! Along the way I also met Lissette, a hot Spanish beauty, who gives me a hug when I see her, and Becca who encourages me, and always smiles. These girls make me want to go to the gym everyday, makes such a big difference when you know your friends are there to laugh with, and understand the pain, and yell at you to keep going cause they believe in you. My friends outside the gym text me with encouragement, some of them have lost weight right along side me, my kids never complained that I go, Jake sometimes goes with me and does his homework and waves from the table. They both went jogging with me the other day and made sure I was ok. Erich always sends me texts from the academy to tell me good job, Jenny at work counts Weight Watcher points with me, Jeana is running the 5k with me, my mom picks up my kids from their activities so I can make it to the gym on time for a class. I am very lucky to have so much support, and kindness in my life. For the 1st time ever I feel like an achiever rather than a failure. Lesson #4 learned
On Facebook I posted that I lost over 17 pounds and 7% of my body weight on Biggest Loser and am at 28 pounds total since I started getting serious in January about losing weight. Our group tied for 2nd place out of 5 teams, we did a pretty good job. I won an award for losing the most weight since the last official weigh in, so that was pretty cool...I'm thankful for being asked to participate and now I'm ready to keep going.
I'm done blogging for now...I thought since I was a talker I would be blogging everyday, and maybe if I had access to a computer more often I would, but I wanted to complete at least this journey and I talk enough on Facebook for the whole town of Albany, I'm sure you will all know whats going on :) Thanks for taking this journey with me....
When I first started WW, it was all about dumping off as much weight as I possibly could, as fast as I could. I have always heard that muscles weights more than fat so I was not going to exercise so it would come off faster. I lost 6 pounds the first week, so that was pure motivation. The more I would research, and talk to others, I realized in the long term, exercising really needs to be a part of my daily life. I want to be an active 80 year old, and I believe that exercise will help me achieve that, also gym workouts were a big part of Biggest Loser. I told you the story of Heidi, who invited me to gravity class and I was praying for it to be full, this class has actually turned out to be the best thing that has ever happened to me. I almost vomited the first day and I couldn't walk for days, but to me that is actually a good feeling knowing that my body is getting work it needs. But when you workout hard, and it kicks your butt, you would really hope the numbers on the scale would reflect that as well, its not the case for me. Some weigh ins, I would lose at all, sometimes I would make 2 pounds a week, it frustrated me beyond, because I was working so hard. I went in to weigh for Biggest Loser and Brenda (the trainer) measured me, from the last time I was measured, my hips and stomach area had gone down 10 inches! That made me smile! As much as I focus on the numbers on the scale I need to remember the gym work I am doing is paying off and building muscle, which in turn weighs more than fat, so I do use the the scale to see the progress, measuring is just as much a tool if not more to me. Lesson #1 learned
My routine consists of spin class 2 nights a week, gravity class 2 nights a week, spinning and jogging on Saturdays and jogging on Sundays...I started the jogging for cardio reasons, and to see how much I could actually do. Personally I find it boring, BUT I have never sweat so much in my life and that makes me feel great. I am not looking to do marathons, I am doing a 5k in California, and made that my goal. Last night at the gym I ran a 5k on the treadmill without stopping in 44 minutes. It makes me feel good that even tho I am still quite overweight I have the endurance to complete it. So with that the cliche of..If I can do it, you can do it comes to mind. Lesson #2 learned
My eating...UGH! This is probably the hardest thing ever for me. I want this to be a lifestyle change and I want it to be achievable. I mentioned above that in the beginning I wanted the weight off fast. I'm seeing that its not as easy at that. I like WW because I can eat whatever I want as long as it is within reason, and I just cant eat it ALL the time. Ive been on diets that had the food prepared for me, lost weight, gained it back. Ive been on diets that cut out carbs. white flour and sugar, lost tons of weight, gained it back. I cannot deprive myself of things, its not realistic for me. There is going to be times in life that I will want a piece of cake, and to have the mind set that I cant have cake, makes me want to have cake even more, and the mindset of when I'm done dieting and have lost the weight, then I can have cake, has been my mindset all along and what has put the weight back on. I discovered at Jessica's birthday party that I was enjoying the company of my family that I didn't even really need cake, so I opted out of it. I didn't miss it, and I felt good about not eating it. Saturday night, I went to dinner with some girlfriends and I really wanted a piece of chocolate cake and I had it. It played mind games with me at first, then I reminded myself, I was within my points and I had exercised an hour earlier that day. This is the way I want to live. Knowing that I can enjoy something, in moderation, and excising to offset my choices. Lesson #3 learned
My friends and family...The biggest thing and most unexpected to come from this challenge was the friends I made along the way and the support I received. I mentioned Heidi the spin chick in my very first blog, I had no idea how much of an impact Heidi would have on me. I used to see her all the time at Albany Christian, I always noticed her cause she dressed very stylish, I would see her at the gym and believe it or not, I'm not always outgoing, especially in a place I am intimidated so I really never talked to her, then she approached me in spin class and the rest is history. She pushes me, believes in me, goes out of her way to work out with me, and she is living proof that exercise and eating healthy WORKS! Along the way I also met Lissette, a hot Spanish beauty, who gives me a hug when I see her, and Becca who encourages me, and always smiles. These girls make me want to go to the gym everyday, makes such a big difference when you know your friends are there to laugh with, and understand the pain, and yell at you to keep going cause they believe in you. My friends outside the gym text me with encouragement, some of them have lost weight right along side me, my kids never complained that I go, Jake sometimes goes with me and does his homework and waves from the table. They both went jogging with me the other day and made sure I was ok. Erich always sends me texts from the academy to tell me good job, Jenny at work counts Weight Watcher points with me, Jeana is running the 5k with me, my mom picks up my kids from their activities so I can make it to the gym on time for a class. I am very lucky to have so much support, and kindness in my life. For the 1st time ever I feel like an achiever rather than a failure. Lesson #4 learned
On Facebook I posted that I lost over 17 pounds and 7% of my body weight on Biggest Loser and am at 28 pounds total since I started getting serious in January about losing weight. Our group tied for 2nd place out of 5 teams, we did a pretty good job. I won an award for losing the most weight since the last official weigh in, so that was pretty cool...I'm thankful for being asked to participate and now I'm ready to keep going.
I'm done blogging for now...I thought since I was a talker I would be blogging everyday, and maybe if I had access to a computer more often I would, but I wanted to complete at least this journey and I talk enough on Facebook for the whole town of Albany, I'm sure you will all know whats going on :) Thanks for taking this journey with me....
Monday, March 14, 2011
Last Week til weigh in
So this is my last week before I weigh in on Friday. I definitely didn't blog as often as I would have liked to, but I'm also thinking alot of it would have been repetitive. Great week, bad week, I love exercise, I hate exercise blah blah. So maybe it was a good thing :) Since my last blog Ive lost another 2 lbs, which I guess is ok but it disappoints me a little. All of is lose weight differently and I'm learning that I need to look at things differently instead of focusing on the number on the scale. That number is so controlling, I watch it everyday and it alters my mood, if I'm down I think I'm Queen Latifah and if it stays the same or goes up I beat myself up for it and it ruins my day. That's just wrong! At WW this last week a lady shared with all of us that when she doesn't see the weight go down on the scale she writes down the changes that she has seen and I thought that was a great idea so I am going to do the same.
We went on a cruise in October and that's were I realized I needed to do something. I have a favorite pair of jean capri's and they wouldn't even go on at all and I couldn't take them on the cruise. I pulled them off the shelf this week and they went on and zipped and I wore them to dinner. That was huge! A pair of capri's I did wear on the cruise are way to big, but I like to wear them because it reminds me of what I've achieved. In April I am going with my mom and sister in laws to California, it is my Grandma's birthday but also a 5k walk for the Christian Home my Grandparents live in, so another test will be how the seat belt fits in the airplane. I fly somewhere at least 2 times a year and I always make a mental note of how the seat belt fits, maybe that's weird, but its what I do. So I'm excited to see how it fits compared to when we flew to our Cruise Ship. And the goal is to jog/run as much of the 5k as I can while I am there. Which takes me to the exercise part of things. I am beginning to really enjoy exercising, I didn't say LOVE it but enjoying it. I think exercise is just as or more important than the eating, just because a person is thin, doesn't make them healthy and in shape. My friend Heidi has been exercising for quite awhile, she has lost close to 90 pounds and she is doing her 1st triathlon in April. That is sooo awesome! She runs in the mornings, swims at lunch and then does spin class and other exercises in the evenings, its time for her to put them all together and accomplish something I only dream of. I have noticed how exercising has changed the shape of my body, how much more endurance I have, how much faster I walk, and confidence.
Weight Watchers doesn't restrict what a person can eat, just portion control. so I can eat anything I want, just not as much as I want, well that sounds like a big duh, but really its true. Its a lifestyle change not a "diet" I still have pizza, bacon, pancakes, I just have to pick and choose if that's what I really want and I may not be able to have a cheeseburger and pancakes and bacon in the same day. An example for you is that a slice of Pepperoni Pizza is about 8 points, I get 34 points in a day, so easily I can have 2 pieces for dinner, I just now don't eat it with ranch like I used to. None of us should be told we can never "have" something again just cause we are dieting, however you put M&M's in front of me I don't just eat one, so in honesty somethings I do stay away from cause I still lack self control. But I can buy a little bag of them for 6 points, IF I really really need a fix. So anyways all of this is just my personal revelation, things don't work the same for all of us, so I'm not telling anyone how to do anything, this is just whats been working for me.
As for water..BLEH BLEH BLEH Oh for Pete's sake I hate the stuff!! I know its so important to have and I drink 64 ounces of the yuck everyday, and sometimes even more. It has made me cut back on Diet Pepsi but I still drink at least 2 cans a day, which is better than the 12 pack I used to drink and that is not an exaggeration. Not to mention the 35 trips to the bathroom everyday, which is really inconvenient sometimes, but they say drinking water is a key to losing weight, I have to agree just not my favorite.
So Friday is the big weigh in day, I have 4 exercise classes to go before it gets here, I'm hoping I can work off a few more pounds, and just because the competition is over doesn't not mean my journey will stop. Ive only just begun and I'm excited to keep going. Last weekend I started walking for 1 min and then jogging for 1 minutes for a total of 30 minutes, I am determined to finish something, whether it be the 5k or just being able to jog 30 minutes straight without walking. Its good to have goals right?
So i feel this blog is a little random and maybe a bit "look at me" but I hope it doesn't come across like that, I just want people to know that we are all different, do things at a different pace, and we cant compare ourselves to anyone, nor should we judge how people go about things, and that goes for myself too. I'm learning more than just about weight loss in this journey, alot of the same things apply to parenting, and marriage as well. Hope you all have a good week and can find something this week, other than a number on the scale, that you have achieved :)
We went on a cruise in October and that's were I realized I needed to do something. I have a favorite pair of jean capri's and they wouldn't even go on at all and I couldn't take them on the cruise. I pulled them off the shelf this week and they went on and zipped and I wore them to dinner. That was huge! A pair of capri's I did wear on the cruise are way to big, but I like to wear them because it reminds me of what I've achieved. In April I am going with my mom and sister in laws to California, it is my Grandma's birthday but also a 5k walk for the Christian Home my Grandparents live in, so another test will be how the seat belt fits in the airplane. I fly somewhere at least 2 times a year and I always make a mental note of how the seat belt fits, maybe that's weird, but its what I do. So I'm excited to see how it fits compared to when we flew to our Cruise Ship. And the goal is to jog/run as much of the 5k as I can while I am there. Which takes me to the exercise part of things. I am beginning to really enjoy exercising, I didn't say LOVE it but enjoying it. I think exercise is just as or more important than the eating, just because a person is thin, doesn't make them healthy and in shape. My friend Heidi has been exercising for quite awhile, she has lost close to 90 pounds and she is doing her 1st triathlon in April. That is sooo awesome! She runs in the mornings, swims at lunch and then does spin class and other exercises in the evenings, its time for her to put them all together and accomplish something I only dream of. I have noticed how exercising has changed the shape of my body, how much more endurance I have, how much faster I walk, and confidence.
Weight Watchers doesn't restrict what a person can eat, just portion control. so I can eat anything I want, just not as much as I want, well that sounds like a big duh, but really its true. Its a lifestyle change not a "diet" I still have pizza, bacon, pancakes, I just have to pick and choose if that's what I really want and I may not be able to have a cheeseburger and pancakes and bacon in the same day. An example for you is that a slice of Pepperoni Pizza is about 8 points, I get 34 points in a day, so easily I can have 2 pieces for dinner, I just now don't eat it with ranch like I used to. None of us should be told we can never "have" something again just cause we are dieting, however you put M&M's in front of me I don't just eat one, so in honesty somethings I do stay away from cause I still lack self control. But I can buy a little bag of them for 6 points, IF I really really need a fix. So anyways all of this is just my personal revelation, things don't work the same for all of us, so I'm not telling anyone how to do anything, this is just whats been working for me.
As for water..BLEH BLEH BLEH Oh for Pete's sake I hate the stuff!! I know its so important to have and I drink 64 ounces of the yuck everyday, and sometimes even more. It has made me cut back on Diet Pepsi but I still drink at least 2 cans a day, which is better than the 12 pack I used to drink and that is not an exaggeration. Not to mention the 35 trips to the bathroom everyday, which is really inconvenient sometimes, but they say drinking water is a key to losing weight, I have to agree just not my favorite.
So Friday is the big weigh in day, I have 4 exercise classes to go before it gets here, I'm hoping I can work off a few more pounds, and just because the competition is over doesn't not mean my journey will stop. Ive only just begun and I'm excited to keep going. Last weekend I started walking for 1 min and then jogging for 1 minutes for a total of 30 minutes, I am determined to finish something, whether it be the 5k or just being able to jog 30 minutes straight without walking. Its good to have goals right?
So i feel this blog is a little random and maybe a bit "look at me" but I hope it doesn't come across like that, I just want people to know that we are all different, do things at a different pace, and we cant compare ourselves to anyone, nor should we judge how people go about things, and that goes for myself too. I'm learning more than just about weight loss in this journey, alot of the same things apply to parenting, and marriage as well. Hope you all have a good week and can find something this week, other than a number on the scale, that you have achieved :)
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Its been awhile....
I didn't blog at all last weekend when Erich was home with the computer, to be honest I didn't feel like it haha, and really no one even noticed. I'm learning thru this journey that really the one and only person you need to be accountable to is yourself! I thought by blogging and putting it out there for the people to see would help me stay on track, while some of it does there is the other side as to feeling like people are judging you and watching what you do, I can take it because I knew the consequences. Alot of it is speculation and as I learned a few years ago I shouldn't do that. But its really hard not to.
2 weeks ago I blogged and was going to weigh in that following Tuesday, I lost 2.6 or 2.8 pounds I don't remember exactly but it brought my weight loss total to 22 pounds and 15 pounds for the Biggest Loser Competition. I was excited and felt very motivated after I left there, thinking maybe next week I will lose 3 and make it to 25, which you get acknowledge at WW for that and I would blow by my 10% which you get acknowledged for that as well. Well it wasn't the case...I was sick the week prior and had a lot of coughing and wheezing so I laid of the exercise and for me, once I stop something its very hard for me to get back at it. I didn't exercise at all that week, my mom was in California so then I go to dinner with my dad, to make sure he eats more than cereal for dinner, so 2 nights in a row of eating out and then Friday night Erich came home and brought a friend from the academy and his wife so we went out to eat again, and still no exercising involved and I felt out of control with not knowing how many points were in my salad and then the bread that came along and then a french fry here and there...by the time Sunday rolls around I have the.....Screw it mentality. I know that I'm only hurting myself, the food taste wonderful don't get me wrong but I felt gross at night, bloated, uncomfortable and I end up getting so mad at myself. On Monday, Heidi and previously sent me a message on Face book telling me about a "gravity" class at the gym and said I should join. I responded back to her message, praying the class already started and it was to late for me to sign up, and then praying it was to full if I could sign up. She told me it started that Tuesday so I went to the gym and what do ya know, they had 1 spot. BLEH!!! :)
Tuesday I went to WW but I didn't weigh. I was afraid of the scale going up and I didn't want to see that, it blows my confidence, sorry that's just how I roll. I'm not the girl that looks at a gain and says...I will so beat that next week...I look at it and say....why do you even bother? So I didn't weigh and left class early to go to the 6:15 gravity class. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, and for Pete's sake it kicked my butt! Its a hour long class of basically doing weights with your own body weight..UGH! You can look the class up on YouTube if your interested to see how it works. After the class I felt like I was going to pass out, my arms killed, I felt dizzy but to be honest it felt GREAT! Even tho its painful its a good kind of pain. It was the motivation I needed and I am so thankful to Heidi for inviting me to the class and you all need to know that Heidi and Lissette who I take the class with are MY competition in the Biggest Loser, and they welcomed me and encourage me, and motivate me and for that I am so thankful. That is how it should be, I'm not competing against others I am doing this for MYSELF. I don't care if I win $250 and I don't care what people think of me if I have a bad week and maybe gain a pound. Its my Journey, and my story that I am willing to share that it may even help 1 single person. Any who enough of all that!
So my workout routine has consisted of Mon & Wed Spin Class and Body Sculpting for an hour and then Tues & Thurs Gravity Class for an hour and today for the first time ever I did a spin class for an hour straight. I can so feel it in my thighs but again its a good kind of pain. I am journaling my food and trying my best to make good choices, but if it takes me 2 years to get my weight off then so be it, I am doing the best I can and make mistakes, but I feel as long as you get back on it, you will succeed. Ive come to the conclusion that maybe I'm not ready to be out in a restaurant world, put food in front of me and I really have a hard time saying no thanks I will take lettuce! What sets food addiction aside from most others is that we NEED food to live, we don't need cigarettes, we don't need alcohol (however some are way funnier when they do use it) and we don't need drugs (illegal kind) so going to the grocery store or a restaurant can be difficult, its all about changing the lifestyle and making better choices and every week I learn something new. Hope you all have a good week next week and I hope to report a weight loss as of Tuesday, I think I have 2 more weeks til my official Biggest Loser weigh in, I need to get the official date. I get to go eat an apple now WOOHOO!
2 weeks ago I blogged and was going to weigh in that following Tuesday, I lost 2.6 or 2.8 pounds I don't remember exactly but it brought my weight loss total to 22 pounds and 15 pounds for the Biggest Loser Competition. I was excited and felt very motivated after I left there, thinking maybe next week I will lose 3 and make it to 25, which you get acknowledge at WW for that and I would blow by my 10% which you get acknowledged for that as well. Well it wasn't the case...I was sick the week prior and had a lot of coughing and wheezing so I laid of the exercise and for me, once I stop something its very hard for me to get back at it. I didn't exercise at all that week, my mom was in California so then I go to dinner with my dad, to make sure he eats more than cereal for dinner, so 2 nights in a row of eating out and then Friday night Erich came home and brought a friend from the academy and his wife so we went out to eat again, and still no exercising involved and I felt out of control with not knowing how many points were in my salad and then the bread that came along and then a french fry here and there...by the time Sunday rolls around I have the.....Screw it mentality. I know that I'm only hurting myself, the food taste wonderful don't get me wrong but I felt gross at night, bloated, uncomfortable and I end up getting so mad at myself. On Monday, Heidi and previously sent me a message on Face book telling me about a "gravity" class at the gym and said I should join. I responded back to her message, praying the class already started and it was to late for me to sign up, and then praying it was to full if I could sign up. She told me it started that Tuesday so I went to the gym and what do ya know, they had 1 spot. BLEH!!! :)
Tuesday I went to WW but I didn't weigh. I was afraid of the scale going up and I didn't want to see that, it blows my confidence, sorry that's just how I roll. I'm not the girl that looks at a gain and says...I will so beat that next week...I look at it and say....why do you even bother? So I didn't weigh and left class early to go to the 6:15 gravity class. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, and for Pete's sake it kicked my butt! Its a hour long class of basically doing weights with your own body weight..UGH! You can look the class up on YouTube if your interested to see how it works. After the class I felt like I was going to pass out, my arms killed, I felt dizzy but to be honest it felt GREAT! Even tho its painful its a good kind of pain. It was the motivation I needed and I am so thankful to Heidi for inviting me to the class and you all need to know that Heidi and Lissette who I take the class with are MY competition in the Biggest Loser, and they welcomed me and encourage me, and motivate me and for that I am so thankful. That is how it should be, I'm not competing against others I am doing this for MYSELF. I don't care if I win $250 and I don't care what people think of me if I have a bad week and maybe gain a pound. Its my Journey, and my story that I am willing to share that it may even help 1 single person. Any who enough of all that!
So my workout routine has consisted of Mon & Wed Spin Class and Body Sculpting for an hour and then Tues & Thurs Gravity Class for an hour and today for the first time ever I did a spin class for an hour straight. I can so feel it in my thighs but again its a good kind of pain. I am journaling my food and trying my best to make good choices, but if it takes me 2 years to get my weight off then so be it, I am doing the best I can and make mistakes, but I feel as long as you get back on it, you will succeed. Ive come to the conclusion that maybe I'm not ready to be out in a restaurant world, put food in front of me and I really have a hard time saying no thanks I will take lettuce! What sets food addiction aside from most others is that we NEED food to live, we don't need cigarettes, we don't need alcohol (however some are way funnier when they do use it) and we don't need drugs (illegal kind) so going to the grocery store or a restaurant can be difficult, its all about changing the lifestyle and making better choices and every week I learn something new. Hope you all have a good week next week and I hope to report a weight loss as of Tuesday, I think I have 2 more weeks til my official Biggest Loser weigh in, I need to get the official date. I get to go eat an apple now WOOHOO!
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